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150
Literary Lapses
·
Stephen Leacock
100
Answer.
No,
it
is
nothing
that
he
has
eaten.
It's
about
her.
The
blow
has
come.
She
has
no
use
for
sunburn,
doesn't
care
for
tan;
she
is
going
to
marry
a
duke
and
the
boy
lieutenant
is
no
longer
in
it.
The
real
trouble
is
that
the
modern
novelist
has
got
beyond
the
happy-marriage
mode
of
ending.
He
wants
tragedy
and
a
blighted
life
to
wind
up
with.
Question.
How
will
the
book
conclude?
Answer.
Oh,
De
Vaux
will
go
back
to
the
desert,
fall
upon
the
Sheik's
neck,
and
swear
to
be
a
second
Hairy
Hank
to
him.
There
will
be
a
final
panorama
of
the
desert,
the
Sheik
and
his
newly
found
son
at
the
door
of
the
tent,
the
sun
setting
behind
a
pyramid,
and
De
Vaux's
faithful
elephant
crouched
at
his
feet
and
gazing
up
at
him
with
dumb
affection.
Helping
the
Armenians
The
financial
affairs
of
the
parish
church
up
at
Doogalville
have
been
getting
rather
into
a
tangle
in
the
last
six
months.
The
people
of
the
church
were
specially
anxious
to
do
something
toward
the
general
public
subscription
of
the
town
on
behalf
of
the
unhappy
Armenians,
and
to
that
purpose
they
determined
to
devote
the
collections
taken
up
at
a
series
of
special
evening
services.
To
give
the
right
sort
of
swing
to
the
services
and
to
stimulate
generous
giving,
they
put
a
new
pipe
organ
into
the
church.
In
order
to
make
a
preliminary
payment
on
the
organ,
it
was
decided
to
raise
a
mortgage
on
the
parsonage.
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