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Literary Lapses
·
Stephen Leacock
101
To
pay
the
interest
on
the
mortgage,
the
choir
of
the
church
got
up
a
sacred
concert
in
the
town
hall.
To
pay
for
the
town
hall,
the
Willing
Workers'
Guild
held
a
social
in
the
Sunday
school.
To
pay
the
expenses
of
the
social,
the
rector
delivered
a
public
lecture
on
"Italy
and
Her
Past,"
illustrated
by
a
magic
lantern.
To
pay
for
the
magic
lantern,
the
curate
and
the
ladies
of
the
church
got
up
some
amateur
theatricals.
Finally,
to
pay
for
the
costumes
for
the
theatricals,
the
rector
felt
it
his
duty
to
dispense
with
the
curate.
So
that
is
where
the
church
stands
just
at
present.
What
they
chiefly
want
to
do,
is
to
raise
enough
money
to
buy
a
suitable
gold
watch
as
a
testimonial
to
the
curate.
After
that
they
hope
to
be
able
to
do
something
for
the
Armenians.
Meantime,
of
course,
the
Armenians,
the
ones
right
there
in
the
town,
are
getting
very
troublesome.
To
begin
with,
there
is
the
Armenian
who
rented
the
costumes
for
the
theatricals:
he
has
to
be
squared.
Then
there
is
the
Armenian
organ
dealer,
and
the
Armenian
who
owned
the
magic
lantern.
They
want
relief
badly.
The
most
urgent
case
is
that
of
the
Armenian
who
holds
the
mortgage
on
the
parsonage;
indeed
it
is
generally
felt
in
the
congregation,
when
the
rector
makes
his
impassioned
appeals
at
the
special
services
on
behalf
of
the
suffering
cause,
that
it
is
to
this
man
that
he
has
special
reference.
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