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235
The Private Papers of Henry Ryecroft
·
George Gissing
105
Then,
as
to
the
dogged
reserve
of
the
educated
man,
why,
I
have
only
to
look
into
myself.
I,
it
is
true,
am
not
quite
a
representative
Englishman;
my
self-consciousness,
my
meditative
habit
of
mind,
rather
dim
my
national
and
social
characteristics;
but
set
me
among
a
few
specimens
of
the
multitude,
and
am
I
not
at
once
aware
of
that
instinctive
antipathy,
that
shrinking
into
myself,
that
something
like
unto
scorn,
of
which
the
Englishman
is
accused
by
foreigners
who
casually
meet
him?
Peculiar
to
me
is
the
effort
to
overcome
this
first
impulse--an
effort
which
often
enough
succeeds.
If
I
know
myself
at
all,
I
am
not
an
ungenial
man;
and
yet
I
am
quite
sure
that
many
people
who
have
known
me
casually
would
say
that
my
fault
is
a
lack
of
geniality.
To
show
my
true
self,
I
must
be
in
the
right
mood
and
the
right
circumstances--which,
after
all,
is
merely
as
much
as
saying
that
I
am
decidedly
English.
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