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349
The Journal of a Disappointed Man
·
W. N. P. Barbellion
106
"Oh!
he
doesn't
mind,"
she
said.
"He's
a
dear.
He
kissed
me
and
said,
'Turn
round
my
dear
if
you
like.'"
Isn't
she
tantalising?
I
wanted
to
say
sarcastically,
"I
wonder
you
let
him
kiss
you,"
but
there
was
a
danger
of
the
remark
reviving
the
dead.
August
14.
I
tried
my
best,
I've
sought
every
loophole
of
escape,
but
I
am
quite
unable
to
avoid
the
melancholy
fact
that
her
thumbs
are--lamentable.
I
am
genuinely
upset
about
it
for
I
like
her.
No
one
more
than
I
would
be
more
delighted
if
they
were
otherwise....
Poor
dear!
how
I
love
her!
That's
why
I'm
so
concerned
about
her
thumbs.
August
21.
A
wire
from
A----
came
at
11.50
saying
"Darling
Mother
passed
peacefully
away
yesterday
afternoon."
...
Yesterday
afternoon
I
was
writing
Zoology
and
all
last
night
I
slept
soundly....
It
was
quite
sudden.
Caught
the
first
train
home.
August
23.
The
funeral.
August
31.
Staying
at
the
Hotel
du
Guesclin
at
Cancale
near
St.
Malo
with
my
dear
A----.
This
flood
of
new
experiences
has
knocked
my
diary
habit
out
of
gear.
To
be
candid,
I've
forgotten
all
about
myself.
I've
been
too
engrossed
in
living
to
stand
the
strain
of
setting
down
and
in
cold
blood
writing
out
all
the
things
seen
and
heard.
If
I
once
began
I
should
blow
thro'
these
pages
like
a
whirlwind....
But
what
a
waste
of
time
with
M.
le
batelier
waiting
outside
with
his
bisque
to
take
us
mackerel
fishing!...
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