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309
The Ladies' Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness
·
Florence Hartley
107
Do
not
magnify
the
event,
or
plunge
the
mourner
into
still
deeper
despondency
by
taking
a
despairing,
gloomy
view
of
the
sorrow,
under
which
she
is
bent.
Show
her
the
silver
lining
of
her
cloud,
try
to
soothe
her
grief,
yet
be
willing
to
admit
that
it
is
a
cloud,
and
that
she
has
cause
for
grief.
To
throw
out
hints
that
the
sorrow
is
sent
as
a
punishment
to
an
offender;
to
imply
that
neglect
or
imprudence
on
the
part
of
the
mourner
is
the
cause
of
the
calamity;
to
hold
up
the
trial
as
an
example
of
retribution,
or
a
natural
consequence
of
wrong
doing,
is
cruel,
and
barbarous.
Even
if
this
is
true,
(indeed,
if
this
is
the
case,
it
only
aggravates
the
insult);
avoid
such
retrospection.
It
is
as
if
a
surgeon,
called
in
to
a
patient
suffering
from
a
fractured
limb,
sat
down,
inattentive
to
the
suffering,
to
lecture
his
patient
upon
the
carelessness
which
caused
the
accident.
One
of
the
most
touching
letters
of
condolence
ever
written
was
sent
by
a
literary
lady,
well
known
in
the
ranks
of
our
American
authoresses,
to
her
sister,
who
had
lost
her
youngest
child.
The
words
were
few,
merely:--
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