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349
The Journal of a Disappointed Man
·
W. N. P. Barbellion
12
September
8.
Wet
all
day.
Toothache.
September
9.
Toothache.
September
10.
Toothache.
September
11.
Toothache.
Xmas
Day.
Mother
and
Dad
wanted
to
give
me
one
of
G.A.
Henty's,
but,
fearing
lest
I
did
not
want
it,
they
did
not
put
my
name
in
it,
so
that
if
I
wished
I
could
change
it.
Intend
doing
this.
Am
reading
the
Origin
of
Species.
It
requires
careful
study,
but
I
understand
it
so
far
and
shall
go
on.
December
26.
I
have
caught
nothing
in
my
traps
yet.
A
little
while
ago
I
set
a
springe
and
two
horse-hair
nooses
in
the
reed
bed
for
water
rails.
I
have
bought
a
book
on
practical
trapping.
1905
January
15.
I
am
thinking
that
on
the
whole
I
am
a
most
discontented
mortal.
I
get
fits
of
what
I
call
"What's
the
good
of
anything"
mania.
I
keep
asking
myself
incessantly
till
the
question
wears
me
out:
"What's
the
good
of
going
into
the
country
naturalising?
what's
the
good
of
studying
so
hard?
where
is
it
going
to
end?
will
it
lead
anywhere?"
February
17.
When
I
can
get
hold
of
any
one
interested
in
Natural
History
I
talk
away
in
the
most
garrulous
manner
and
afterwards
feel
ashamed
of
myself
for
doing
it.
May
15.
The
Captain,
in
answer
to
my
letter,
advises
me
to
join
one
of
the
ordinary
professions
and
then
follow
up
Nat.
History
as
a
recreation,
or
else
join
Science
Classes
at
S.
Kensington,
or
else
by
influence
get
a
post
in
the
Natural
History
Museum.
But
I
shall
see.
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