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The Journal of a Disappointed Man
·
W. N. P. Barbellion
122
March
7.
A
Scots
Fir
Have
been
feeling
very
"down"
of
late,
but
yesterday
I
saw
a
fine
Scots
Fir
by
the
roadside--tall,
erect,
as
straight
as
a
Parthenon
pillar.
The
sight
of
it
restored
my
courage.
It
had
a
tonic
effect.
Quite
unconsciously
I
pulled
my
shoulders
back
and
walked
ahead
with
renewed
vows
never
to
flinch
again.
It
is
a
noble
tree.
It
has
strength
as
a
giant,
and
a
giant's
height,
and
yet
kindly
withal,
the
branches
drooping
down
graciously
towards
you--like
a
kind
giant
extending
its
hands
to
a
child.
March
22.
A
Stagnant
Day
Went
to
bed
late
last
night
so
I
slept
on
soundly
till
9
a.m.
Went
down
to
the
bath-room,
but
found
the
door
was
shut,
so
went
back
to
my
bedroom
again,
lay
down
and
dosed
a
while,
thinking
of
nothing
in
particular.
Went
down
again--door
still
locked--swore--returned
once
more
to
my
room
and
reclined
on
the
bed,
with
door
open,
so
that
I
could
hear
as
soon
as
the
bath-room
door
opened....
Rang
the
bell,
and
Miss
----
brought
up
a
jug
of
hot
water
to
shave
with,
and
a
tumbler
of
hot
water
to
drink
(for
my
dyspepsia).
She,
on
being
interrogated,
said
there
was
some
one
in
the
bath-room.
I
said
I
wanted
a
bath
too,
so
as
she
passed
on
her
way
down
she
shouted,
"Hurry
up,
Mr.
Barbellion
wants
a
bath
as
well."
Her
footsteps
then
died
away
as
she
descended
lower
into
the
basement,
where
the
family
lives,
sleeps,
and
cooks
our
food.
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