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The Ladies' Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness
·
Florence Hartley
125
Many
ladies
say,
"Oh,
I
am
perfectly
frank
and
outspoken;
I
never
stop
to
mince
words,"
or,
"there
is
no
affectation
about
me;
all
my
actions
are
perfectly
natural,"
and,
upon
the
ground
of
frankness,
will
insult
and
wound
by
rude
language,
and
defend
awkwardness
and
ill-breeding
by
the
plea
of
"natural
manners."
If
nature
has
not
invested
you
with
all
the
virtues
which
may
be
desirable
in
a
lady,
do
not
make
your
faults
more
conspicuous
by
thrusting
them
forward
upon
all
occasions,
and
at
all
times.
"Assume
a
virtue
if
you
have
it
not,"
and
you
will,
in
time,
by
imitation,
acquire
it.
By
endeavoring
to
appear
generous,
disinterested,
self-sacrificing,
and
amiable,
the
opposite
passions
will
be
brought
into
subjection,
first
in
the
manner,
afterwards
in
the
heart.
It
is
not
the
desire
to
deceive,
but
the
desire
to
please,
which
will
dictate
such
a
course.
When
you
hear
one,
who
pretends
to
be
a
lady,
boast
that
she
is
rough,
capricious,
and
gluttonous,
you
may
feel
sure
that
she
has
never
tried
to
conquer
these
faults,
or
she
would
be
ashamed,
not
proud,
of
them.
The
way
to
make
yourself
pleasing
to
others,
is
to
show
that
you
care
for
them.
The
whole
world
is
like
the
miller
at
Mansfield,
"who
cared
for
nobody--no,
not
he--because
nobody
cared
for
him."
And
the
whole
world
will
serve
you
so,
if
you
give
them
the
same
cause.
Let
every
one,
therefore,
see
that
you
do
care
for
them,
by
showing
them,
what
Sterne
so
happily
calls,
"the
small,
sweet
courtesies
of
life,"
those
courtesies
in
which
there
is
no
parade;
whose
voice
is
too
still
to
tease,
and
which
manifest
themselves
by
tender
and
affectionate
looks,
and
little,
kind
acts
of
attention,
giving
others
the
preference
in
every
little
enjoyment
at
the
table,
in
the
field,
walking,
sitting,
or
standing.
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