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A New England Girlhood, Outlined from Memory (Beverly, MA)
·
Lucy Larcom
126
But
alas!
I
could
not
go.
The
little
money
I
could
earn--one
dollar
a
week,
besides
the
price
of
my
board--was
needed
in
the
family,
and
I
must
return
to
the
mill.
It
was
a
severe
disappointment
to
me,
though
I
did
not
say
so
at
home.
I
did
not
at
all
accept
the
conclusion
of
a
neighbor
whom
I
heard
talking
about
it
with
my
mother.
His
daughter
was
going
to
the
high
school,
and
my
mother
was
telling
him
how
sorry
she
was
that
I
could
not.
"Oh,"
he
said,
in
a
soothing
tone,
"my
girl
hasn't
got
any
such
head-piece
as
yours
has.
Your
girl
doesn't
need
to
go."
Of
course
I
knew
that
whatever
sort
of
a
"head-piece"
I
had,
I
did
need
and
want
just
that
very
opportunity
to
study.
I
think
the
solution
was
then
formed,
inwardly,
that
I
would
go
to
school
again,
some
time,
whatever
happened.
I
went
back
to
my
work,
but
now
without
enthusiasm.
I
had
looked
through
an
open
door
that
I
was
not
willing
to
see
shut
upon
me.
I
began
to
reflect
upon
life
rather
seriously
for
a
girl
of
twelve
or
thirteen.
What
was
I
here
for?
What
could
I
make
of
myself?
Must
I
submit
to
be
carried
along
with
the
current,
and
do
just
what
everybody
else
did?
No:
I
knew
I
should
not
do
that,
for
there
was
a
certain
Myself
who
was
always
starting
up
with
her
own
original
plan
or
aspiration
before
me,
and
who
was
quite
indifferent
as
to
what
people,
generally
thought.
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