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The Ladies' Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness
·
Florence Hartley
127
It
is
not
an
art
to
be
paraded
upon
public
occasions,
and
neglected
in
every-day
duties;
nor
should
it,
like
a
ball-dress,
be
carefully
laid
aside
at
home,
trimmed,
ornamented,
and
worn
only
when
out.
Let
it
come
into
every
thought,
and
it
will
show
forth
in
every
action.
Let
it
be
the
rule
in
the
homeliest
duties,
and
then
it
will
set
easily
when
in
public,
not
in
a
stiff
manner,
like
a
garment
seldom
worn.
I
wish
it
were
possible
to
convince
every
woman
that
politeness
is
a
most
excellent
good
quality;
that
it
is
a
necessary
ingredient
in
social
comfort,
and
a
capital
assistant
to
actual
prosperity.
Like
most
good
things,
however,
the
word
politeness
is
often
misunderstood
and
misapplied;
and
before
urging
the
practical
use
of
that
which
it
represents,
it
may
be
necessary
to
say
what
it
means,
and
what
it
does
not
mean.
Politeness
is
not
hypocrisy:--cold-heartedness,
or
unkindness
in
disguise.
There
are
persons
who
can
smile
upon
a
victim,
and
talk
smoothly,
while
they
injure,
deceive,
or
betray.
And
they
will
take
credit
to
themselves,
that
all
has
been
done
with
the
utmost
politeness;
that
every
tone,
look,
and
action,
has
been
in
perfect
keeping
with
the
rules
of
good
breeding.
"The
words
of
their
mouth
are
smoother
than
butter,
but
war
is
in
their
heart:
their
words
are
softer
than
oil,
yet
are
they
drawn
swords."
Perish
for
ever
and
ever
such
spurious
politeness
as
this!
Politeness
is
not
servility.
If
it
were
so,
a
Russian
serf
would
be
a
model
of
politeness.
It
is
very
possible
for
persons
to
be
very
cringing
and
obsequious,
without
a
single
atom
of
politeness;
and
it
often
happens
that
men
of
the
most
sturdy
independence
of
character,
are
essentially
polite
in
all
their
words,
actions,
and
feelings.
It
were
well
for
this
to
be
fully
understood,
for
many
people
will
abstain
from
acts
of
real
politeness,
and
even
of
common
civility,
for
fear
of
damaging
their
fancied
independence.
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