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The Ladies' Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness
·
Florence Hartley
128
True
politeness,
as
I
understand
it,
is
kindness
and
courtesy
of
feeling
brought
into
every-day
exercise.
It
comprehends
hearty
good
will
towards
everybody,
thorough
and
constant
good-humor,
an
easy
deportment,
and
obliging
manners.
Every
person
who
cultivates
such
feelings,
and
takes
no
pains
to
conceal
them,
will
necessarily
be
polite,
though
she
may
not
exactly
know
it;
while,
on
the
other
hand,
a
woman
essentially
morose
and
selfish,
whatever
may
be
her
pretensions,
must
be
very
far
from
truly
polite.
It
is
very
true
there
are
those
whose
position
in
society
compels
them
to
observe
certain
rules
of
etiquette
which
pass
for
politeness.
They
bow
or
courtesy
with
a
decent
grace;
shake
hands
with
the
precise
degree
of
vigor
which
the
circumstances
of
the
case
require;
speak
just
at
the
right
time,
and
in
the
required
manner,
and
smile
with
elegant
propriety.
Not
a
tone,
look,
or
gesture,
is
out
of
place;
not
a
habit
indulged
which
etiquette
forbids;
and
yet,
there
will
be
wanting,
after
all,
the
secret
charm
of
sincerity
and
heart
kindness,
which
those
outward
signs
are
intended
to
represent;
and,
wanting
which,
we
have
only
the
form,
without
the
essence,
of
politeness.
Let
me
recommend,
therefore,
far
beyond
all
the
rules
ever
penned
by
teachers
of
etiquette,
the
cultivation
of
kind
and
loving
feelings.
Throw
your
whole
soul
into
the
lesson,
and
you
will
advance
rapidly
towards
the
perfection
of
politeness,
for
"out
of
the
abundance
of
the
heart
the
mouth
speaketh,"
and
the
movements
of
your
form
and
the
words
you
utter
will
follow
faithfully
the
hidden
springs
of
action
within.
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