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137
The Solitary Summer
·
Elizabeth Von Arnim
129
At
dinner,
he
and
I,
quite
by
ourselves,
were
both
manifestly
convinced
of
the
necessity,
for
the
sake
of
the
servants,
of
not
letting
the
conversation
drop.
I
felt
desperate,
and
would
have
said
anything
sooner
than
sit
opposite
him
in
silence,
and
with
united
efforts
we
got
through
that
fairly
well.
After
dinner
I
tried
gossip,
and
encouraged
him
to
tell
me
some,
but
he
had
such
an
unnatural
number
of
relations
that
whoever
I
began
to
talk
about
happened
to
be
his
cousin,
or
his
brother-
in-law,
or
his
aunt,
as
he
hastily
informed
me,
so
that
what
I
had
intended
to
say
had
to
be
turned
immediately
into
loud
and
unqualified
praise;
and
praising
people
is
frightfully
hard
work--you
give
yourself
the
greatest
pains
over
it,
and
are
aware
all
the
time
that
it
is
not
in
the
very
least
carrying
conviction.
Does
not
everybody
know
that
one's
natural
impulse
is
to
tear
the
absent
limb
from
limb?
At
half-past
nine
I
got
up,
worn
out
in
mind
and
body,
and
told
him
very
firmly
that
it
had
been
a
custom
in
my
family
from
time
immemorial
to
be
in
bed
by
ten,
and
that
I
was
accordingly
going
there.
He
looked
surprised
and
wider
awake
than
ever,
but
nothing
shook
me,
and
I
walked
away,
leaving
him
standing
on
the
hearthrug
after
the
manner
of
my
countrymen,
who
never
dream
of
opening
a
door
for
a
woman.
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