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148
The Diary of a Nobody
·
George Grossmith Weedon Grossmith
13
CHAPTER
III
A
conversation
with
Mr.
Merton
on
Society.
Mr.
and
Mrs.
James,
of
Sutton,
come
up.
A
miserable
evening
at
the
Tank
Theatre.
Experiments
with
enamel
paint.
I
make
another
good
joke;
but
Gowing
and
Cummings
are
unnecessarily
offended.
I
paint
the
bath
red,
with
unexpected
result.
APRIL
19.—
Cummings
called,
bringing
with
him
his
friend
Merton,
who
is
in
the
wine
trade.
Gowing
also
called.
Mr.
Merton
made
himself
at
home
at
once,
and
Carrie
and
I
were
both
struck
with
him
immediately,
and
thoroughly
approved
of
his
sentiments.
He
leaned
back
in
his
chair
and
said:
“You
must
take
me
as
I
am;”
and
I
replied:
“Yes—
and
you
must
take
us
as
we
are.
We’re
homely
people,
we
are
not
swells.”
He
answered:
“No,
I
can
see
that,”
and
Gowing
roared
with
laughter;
but
Merton
in
a
most
gentlemanly
manner
said
to
Gowing:
“I
don’t
think
you
quite
understand
me.
I
intended
to
convey
that
our
charming
host
and
hostess
were
superior
to
the
follies
of
fashion,
and
preferred
leading
a
simple
and
wholesome
life
to
gadding
about
to
twopenny-halfpenny
tea-drinking
afternoons,
and
living
above
their
incomes.”
I
was
immensely
pleased
with
these
sensible
remarks
of
Merton’s,
and
concluded
that
subject
by
saying:
“No,
candidly,
Mr.
Merton,
we
don’t
go
into
Society,
because
we
do
not
care
for
it;
and
what
with
the
expense
of
cabs
here
and
cabs
there,
and
white
gloves
and
white
ties,
etc.,
it
doesn’t
seem
worth
the
money.”
Merton
said
in
reference
to
friends:
“My
motto
is
‘Few
and
True;’
and,
by
the
way,
I
also
apply
that
to
wine,
‘Little
and
Good.’”
Gowing
said:
“Yes,
and
sometimes
‘cheap
and
tasty,’
eh,
old
man?”
Merton,
still
continuing,
said
he
should
treat
me
as
a
friend,
and
put
me
down
for
a
dozen
of
his
“Lockanbar”
whisky,
and
as
I
was
an
old
friend
of
Gowing,
I
should
have
it
for
36s.,
which
was
considerably
under
what
he
paid
for
it.
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