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Literary Lapses
·
Stephen Leacock
131
A
STUDY
IN
SHAKESPEAREAN
CRITICISM
They
say
that
young
men
fresh
from
college
are
pretty
positive
about
what
they
know.
But
from
my
own
experience
of
life,
I
should
say
that
if
you
take
a
comfortable,
elderly
man
who
hasn't
been
near
a
college
for
about
twenty
years,
who
has
been
pretty
liberally
fed
and
dined
ever
since,
who
measures
about
fifty
inches
around
the
circumference,
and
has
a
complexion
like
a
cranberry
by
candlelight,
you
will
find
that
there
is
a
degree
of
absolute
certainty
about
what
he
thinks
he
knows
that
will
put
any
young
man
to
shame.
I
am
specially
convinced
of
this
from
the
case
of
my
friend
Colonel
Hogshead,
a
portly,
choleric
gentleman
who
made
a
fortune
in
the
cattle-trade
out
in
Wyoming,
and
who,
in
his
later
days,
has
acquired
a
chronic
idea
that
the
plays
of
Shakespeare
are
the
one
subject
upon
which
he
is
most
qualified
to
speak
personally.
He
came
across
me
the
other
evening
as
I
was
sitting
by
the
fire
in
the
club
sitting-room
looking
over
the
leaves
of
The
Merchant
of
Venice,
and
began
to
hold
forth
to
me
about
the
book.
"Merchant
of
Venice,
eh?
There's
a
play
for
you,
sir!
There's
genius!
Wonderful,
sir,
wonderful!
You
take
the
characters
in
that
play
and
where
will
you
find
anything
like
them?
You
take
Antonio,
take
Sherlock,
take
Saloonio--"
"Saloonio,
Colonel?"
I
interposed
mildly,
"aren't
you
making
a
mistake?
There's
a
Bassanio
and
a
Salanio
in
the
play,
but
I
don't
think
there's
any
Saloonio,
is
there?"
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