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349
The Journal of a Disappointed Man
·
W. N. P. Barbellion
135
N----
is
charming,
and
thought
we
were
quarrelling,
and
therefore
intervened
on
his
side!
May
31.
R----
outlined
an
impression
he
had
in
Naples
one
day
during
a
sirocco
of
the
imminence
of
his
own
death.
It
was
evidently
an
isolated
experience
and
bored
me
a
little
as
I
could
have
said
a
lot
myself
about
that.
When
he
finished
I
drew
from
my
pocket
an
envelope
with
my
name
and
three
addresses
scribbled
on
it
to
help
the
police
in
case
of
syncope
as
I
explained.
I
have
carried
this
with
me
for
several
years
and
at
one
time
a
flask
of
brandy.
June
3.
Went
to
see
the
Irish
Players
in
The
Playboy.
Sitting
in
front
of
me
was
a
charming
little
Irish
girl
accompanied
by
a
male
clod
with
red-rimmed
eyes
like
a
Bull-terrier's,
a
sandy,
bristly
moustache
like
a
housemaid's
broom,
and
a
face
like
a
gluteal
mass,
and
a
horrid
voice
that
crepitated
rather
than
spoke.
She
was
dark,
with
shining
blue
eyes,
and
a
delightful
little
nose
of
the
utmost
import
to
every
male
who
should
gaze
upon
her.
Between
the
acts,
the
clod
hearkened
to
her
vivacious
conversation--like
an
enchanted
bullock.
Her
vivacity
was
such
that
the
tip
of
her
nose
moved
up
and
down
for
emphasis
and
by
the
end
of
the
Third
Act
I
was
captured
entirely.
Lucky
dog,
that
clod!
After
the
play
this
little
Irish
maiden
caught
my
eye
and
it
became
a
physical
impossibility
for
me
to
check
a
smile--and
oh!
Heavens!--she
gave
me
a
smile
in
return.
Precisely
five
seconds
later,
she
looked
again
to
see
if
I
was
still
smiling--I
was--and
we
then
smiled
broadly
and
openly
on
one
another--her
smile
being
the
timorous
ingénue's
not
the
glad
eye
of
a
femme
de
joie.
Later,
on
the
railway
platform
whither
I
followed
her,
I
caught
her
eye
again
(was
ever
so
lucky
a
fellow?),
and
we
got
into
the
same
carriage.
But
so
did
the
clod--ah!
dear,
was
ever
so
unlucky
a
fellow?
Forced
to
occupy
a
seat
some
way
off,
but
she
caught
me
trying
to
see
her
thro'
a
midnight
forest
of
opera
hats,
lace
ruffles,
projecting
ears
and
fat
noses.
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