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The Ladies' Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness
·
Florence Hartley
137
In
assisting
at
a
wedding
at
church,
if
you
are
one
of
the
bridesmaids,
wear
white,
a
white
bonnet
but
no
veil.
If
you
occupy
the
first
place,
the
bride's,
it
is
in
better
taste
to
be
married
in
a
simple
dress
and
bonnet,
and
don
your
full
dress
when
you
return
home
to
receive
your
friends.
In
such
ceremonies
the
wedding-party
all
meet
in
the
vestry,
and
go
to
the
altar
together.[A]
[A]
For
further
particulars,
see
chapter
on
Bridal
Etiquette.
At
a
funeral,
enter
the
church
quietly,
and,
unless
you
belong
to
the
mourners,
wait
until
they
leave
the
church
before
you
rise
from
your
seat.
Never
attempt
to
speak
to
any
of
the
afflicted
family.
However
heartfelt
your
sympathy,
it
will
not
be
welcome
at
that
time.
If,
when
entering
a
crowded
church,
a
gentleman
sees
you
and
offers
his
seat,
acknowledge
his
civility,
whether
accepted
or
declined,
by
a
bow,
and
a
whispered
"thank
you."
Many,
who
claim
the
name
of
lady,
and
think
they
are
well-bred,
will
accept
such
an
act
of
politeness
without
making
the
slightest
acknowledgement.
If
the
service
has
commenced,
do
not
speak;
a
courteous
inclination
of
the
head
will
convey
your
sense
of
obligation.
Remember,
as
an
imperative,
general
rule,
in
whatever
church
you
may
be,
whether
at
home
or
abroad,
conform
to
the
mode
of
worship
whilst
you
are
in
that
church.
If
you
find,
in
these
modes,
forms
which
are
disagreeable
to
you,
or
which
shock
your
own
ideas
of
religion,
avoid
a
second
visit,
but
do
not
insult
the
congregation,
by
showing
your
contempt
or
disapproval,
whilst
you
are
among
them.
Silence,
quiet
attention,
and
a
grave,
reverential
demeanor,
mark
the
Christian
lady
in
church.
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