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150
Literary Lapses
·
Stephen Leacock
140
PART
III
Time
moved
on
and
spring
came.
Still
the
girl
baffled
the
poet.
"I
thought
to
pass
away
before,"
she
would
say
with
a
mocking
grin,
"but
yet
alive
I
am,
Alfred,
alive
I
am."
Tennyson
was
fast
losing
hope.
Worn
out
with
early
rising,
they
engaged
a
retired
Pullman-car
porter
to
take
up
his
quarters,
and
being
a
negro
his
presence
added
a
touch
of
colour
to
their
life.
The
poet
also
engaged
a
neighbouring
divine
at
fifty
cents
an
evening
to
read
to
the
child
the
best
hundred
books,
with
explanations.
The
May
Queen
tolerated
him,
and
used
to
like
to
play
with
his
silver
hair,
but
protested
that
he
was
prosy.
At
the
end
of
his
resources
the
poet
resolved
upon
desperate
measures.
He
chose
an
evening
when
the
cottager
and
his
wife
were
out
at
a
dinner-party.
At
nightfall
Tennyson
and
his
accomplices
entered
the
girl's
room.
She
defended
herself
savagely
with
her
brick,
but
was
overpowered.
The
negro
seated
himself
upon
her
chest,
while
the
clergyman
hastily
read
a
few
verses
about
the
comfort
of
early
rising
at
the
last
day.
As
he
concluded,
the
poet
drove
his
pen
into
her
eye.
"Last
call!"
cried
the
negro
porter
triumphantly.
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