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150
Literary Lapses
·
Stephen Leacock
148
Now
it
chanced
one
day
that
I
stumbled
upon
old
D,
in
the
little
garden
in
front
of
his
cottage,
hoeing
in
the
sun.
D
is
an
aged
labouring
man
who
used
occasionally
to
be
called
in
to
help
A,
B,
and
C.
"Did
I
know
'em,
sir?"
he
answered,
"why,
I
knowed
'em
ever
since
they
was
little
fellows
in
brackets.
Master
A,
he
were
a
fine
lad,
sir,
though
I
always
said,
give
me
Master
B
for
kind-heartedness-like.
Many's
the
job
as
we've
been
on
together,
sir,
though
I
never
did
no
racing
nor
aught
of
that,
but
just
the
plain
labour,
as
you
might
say.
I'm
getting
a
bit
too
old
and
stiff
for
it
nowadays,
sir--just
scratch
about
in
the
garden
here
and
grow
a
bit
of
a
logarithm,
or
raise
a
common
denominator
or
two.
But
Mr.
Euclid
he
use
me
still
for
them
propositions,
he
do."
From
the
garrulous
old
man
I
learned
the
melancholy
end
of
my
former
acquaintances.
Soon
after
I
left
town,
he
told
me,
C
had
been
taken
ill.
It
seems
that
A
and
B
had
been
rowing
on
the
river
for
a
wager,
and
C
had
been
running
on
the
bank
and
then
sat
in
a
draught.
Of
course
the
bank
had
refused
the
draught
and
C
was
taken
ill.
A
and
B
came
home
and
found
C
lying
helpless
in
bed.
A
shook
him
roughly
and
said,
"Get
up,
C,
we're
going
to
pile
wood."
C
looked
so
worn
and
pitiful
that
B
said,
"Look
here,
A,
I
won't
stand
this,
he
isn't
fit
to
pile
wood
to-night."
C
smiled
feebly
and
said,
"Perhaps
I
might
pile
a
little
if
I
sat
up
in
bed."
Then
B,
thoroughly
alarmed,
said,
"See
here,
A,
I'm
going
to
fetch
a
doctor;
he's
dying."
A
flared
up
and
answered,
"You've
no
money
to
fetch
a
doctor."
"I'll
reduce
him
to
his
lowest
terms,"
B
said
firmly,
"that'll
fetch
him."
C's
life
might
even
then
have
been
saved
but
they
made
a
mistake
about
the
medicine.
It
stood
at
the
head
of
the
bed
on
a
bracket,
and
the
nurse
accidentally
removed
it
from
the
bracket
without
changing
the
sign.
After
the
fatal
blunder
C
seems
to
have
sunk
rapidly.
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