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235
The Private Papers of Henry Ryecroft
·
George Gissing
148
XIII.
Many
a
time,
when
life
went
hard
with
me,
I
have
betaken
myself
to
the
Stoics,
and
not
all
in
vain.
Marcus
Aurelius
has
often
been
one
of
my
bedside
books;
I
have
read
him
in
the
night
watches,
when
I
could
not
sleep
for
misery,
and
when
assuredly
I
could
have
read
nothing
else.
He
did
not
remove
my
burden;
his
proofs
of
the
vanity
of
earthly
troubles
availed
me
nothing;
but
there
was
a
soothing
harmony
in
his
thought
which
partly
lulled
my
mind,
and
the
mere
wish
that
I
could
find
strength
to
emulate
that
high
example
(though
I
knew
that
I
never
should)
was
in
itself
a
safeguard
against
the
baser
impulses
of
wretchedness.
I
read
him
still,
but
with
no
turbid
emotion,
thinking
rather
of
the
man
than
of
the
philosophy,
and
holding
his
image
dear
in
my
heart
of
hearts.
Of
course
the
intellectual
assumption
which
makes
his
system
untenable
by
the
thinker
of
our
time
is:
that
we
possess
a
knowledge
of
the
absolute.
Noble
is
the
belief
that
by
exercise
of
his
reason
a
man
may
enter
into
communion
with
that
Rational
Essence
which
is
the
soul
of
the
world;
but
precisely
because
of
our
inability
to
find
within
ourselves
any
such
sure
and
certain
guidance
do
we
of
to-day
accept
the
barren
doom
of
scepticism.
Otherwise,
the
Stoic's
sense
of
man's
subordination
in
the
universal
scheme,
and
of
the
all-ruling
destiny,
brings
him
into
touch
with
our
own
philosophical
views,
and
his
doctrine
concerning
the
"sociable"
nature
of
man,
of
the
reciprocal
obligations
which
exist
between
all
who
live,
are
entirely
congenial
to
the
better
spirit
of
our
day.
His
fatalism
is
not
mere
resignation;
one
has
not
only
to
accept
one's
lot,
whatever
it
is,
as
inevitable,
but
to
accept
it
with
joy,
with
praises.
Why
are
we
here?
For
the
same
reason
that
has
brought
about
the
existence
of
a
horse,
or
of
a
vine,
to
play
the
part
allotted
to
us
by
Nature.
As
it
is
within
our
power
to
understand
the
order
of
things,
so
are
we
capable
of
guiding
ourselves
in
accordance
therewith;
the
will,
powerless
over
circumstance,
is
free
to
determine
the
habits
of
the
soul.
The
first
duty
is
self-discipline;
its
correspondent
first
privilege
is
an
inborn
knowledge
of
the
law
of
life.
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