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1036
Enquire within upon everything
·
Robert Kemp Philp
153
iv.
Omnibus
Driver.--Old
acquaintance.
"'Ave
a
drop,
Bill?"
Driver.
"Why,
yer
see,
Jim,
this
'ere
young
hoss
has
only
been
in
'arness
once
afore,
and
he's
such
a
beggar
to
bolt,
ten
to
one
if
I
leave
'im
he'll
be
a-runnin'
hoff,
and
a
smashin'
into
suthun.
Howsoever--here--(handing
reins
to
a
timid
passenger)--lay
hold,
sir,
I'LL
CHANCE
IT!"
v.
Costermonger
(to
extremely
genteel
person).--"I
say,
guv'ner,
give
us
a
hist
with
this
'ere
bilin'
o'
greens!"
(A
large
hamper
of
market
stuff.)
vi.
Genteel
Cockney
(by
the
seaside).--Blanche.
"How
grand,
how
solemn,
dear
Frederick,
this
is!
I
really
think
the
ocean
is
more
beautiful
under
this
aspect
than
under
any
other!"
Frederick.--"H'm--ah!
Per-waps.
By
the
way,
Blanche,
there's
a
fella
shwimping.
S'pose
we
ask
him
if
he
can
get
us
some
pwawns
for
breakfast
to-mowaw
mawning?"
vii.
Stuck-up
Cockney.--(Small
Swell
enters
a
tailor's
shop.)
"A--Brown,
A--want
some
more
coats!"
Snip.
"Yes,
sir.
Thank
you,
sir.
How
many
would
you
please
to
want?"
Small
Swell.
"A--let
me
see;
A--ll
have
eight.
A--no,
I'll
have
nine;
and
look
here!
A--shall
want
some
trousers."
Snip.
"Yes,
sir,
thank
you,
sir.
How
many
would
you
like?"
Small
Swell.--"A--don't
know
exactly.
S'pose
we
say
twenty-four
pairs;
and
look
here!
Show
me
some
patterns
that
won't
be
worn
by
any
snobs!"
viii.
Cockney
Flunkey,--(Country
Footman
meekly
inquires
of
London
Footman)--"Pray,
sir,
what
do
you
think
of
our
town?
A
nice
place,
ain't
it"
London
Footman
(condescendingly).
"Vell,
Joseph,
I
likes
your
town
well
enough.
It's
clean:
your
streets
are
hairy;
and
you
have
lots
of
rewins.
But
I
don't
like
your
champagne,
it's
all
gewsberry!"
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