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1036
Enquire within upon everything
·
Robert Kemp Philp
154
ix
Cockney
Cabby
(with
politeness).--"Beg
pardon,
sir;
please
don't
smoke
in
the
keb.
sir;
ladies
do
complain
o'
the
'bacca
uncommon.
Better
let
me
smoke
it
for
yer
outside,
sir!"
x.
Military
Cockney.--Lieutenant
Blazer
(of
the
Plungers).--"Gwood
gwacious!
Here's
a
howible
go!
The
ifan
[?
word
not
legible]
v's
going
to
gwow
a
moustache!
Cornet
Huffey
(whose
face
is
whiskerless).
"Yaw
don't
mean
that!
Wall!
there's
only
one
alternative
for
us.
We
must
shave!"
xi.
Juvenile
Low
Cockney.--"Jack;
Whereabouts
is
Amstid-am?"
Jack.
"Well,
I
can't
say
exackerley,
but
I
know
it's
somewhere
near
'Ampstid-'eath!"
xii.
Cockney
Domestic.--Servant
girl--"Well,
mam--Heverythink
considered,
I'm
afraid
you
won't
suit
me.
I've
always
bin
brought
up
genteel:
and
I
couldn't
go
nowheres
where
there
ain't
no
footman
kep'."
xiii.
Another.--Lady.
"Wish
to
leave!
why,
I
thought,
Thompson,
you
were
very
comfortable
with
me!"
Thompson
(who
is
extremely
refined).
"Ho
yes,
mum!
I
don't
find
no
fault
with
you,
mum--nor
yet
with
master--but
the
truth
his,
mum--the
hother
servants
is
so
orrid
vulgar
and
hignorant,
and
speaks
so
hungrammaticai,
that
I
reely
cannot
live
in
the
same
'ouse
with
'em--and
I
should
like
to
go
this
day
month,
if
so
be
has
it
won't
illconvenience
you!"
xiv.
Cockney
"Waiter.--"'Am,
sir?
Yessir?
Don't
take
anything
with
your
'am,
do
you,
sir?"
Gentleman.
"Yes,
I
do;
I
take
the
letter
H!"
xv.
Cockney
Hairdresser.--"They
say,
sir,
the
cholera
is
in
the
Hair,
sir!"
Gent
(very
uneasy).
"Indeed!
Ahem!
Then
I
hope
you're
very
particular
about
the
brushes
you
use."
Hairdresser.
"Oh,
I
see
you
don't
nunderstand
me,
sir;
I
don't
mean
the
'air
of
the
'ed,
but
the
hair
hof
the
hatmosphere?"
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