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349
The Journal of a Disappointed Man
·
W. N. P. Barbellion
154
October
14.
Marie
Bashkirtseff
Some
time
ago
I
noticed
a
quotation
from
one,
Marie
Bashkirtseff
in
a
book
on
Strindberg,
and
was
struck
with
the
likeness
to
a
sentiment
of
my
own.
Who
are
you?
I
wondered.
This
evening
went
to
the
Library
and
read
about
her
in
Mathilde
Blind's
introductory
essay
to
her
Journal.
I
am
simply
astounded.
It
would
be
difficult
in
all
the
world's
history
to
discover
any
two
persons
with
temperaments
so
alike.
She
is
the
"very
spit
of
me
"!
I
devoured
Mathilde
Blind's
pages
more
and
more
astonished.
We
are
identical!
Oh,
Marie
Bashkirtseff!
how
we
should
have
hated
one
another!
She
feels
as
I
feel.
We
have
the
same
self-absorption,
the
same
vanity
and
corroding
ambition.
She
is
impressionable,
volatile,
passionate--ill!
So
am
I.
Her
journal
is
my
journal.
All
mine
is
stale
reading
now.
She
has
written
down
all
my
thoughts
and
forestalled
me!
Already
I
have
found
some
heart-rending
parallels.
To
think
I
am
only
a
replica:
how
humiliating
for
a
human
being
to
find
himself
merely
a
duplicate
of
another.
Is
there
anything
in
the
transmigration
of
souls?
She
died
in
1886.
I
was
born
in
1889.
October
15.
A
man
is
always
looking
at
himself
in
the
mirror
if
for
no
other
reason
than
to
tie
his
tie
and
brush
his
hair.
What
does
he
think
of
his
face?
He
must
have
private
opinions.
But
it
is
usually
considered
a
little
out
of
taste
to
entertain
opinions
about
one's
personal
appearance.
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