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The Ladies' Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness
·
Florence Hartley
160
Neither
is
the
lengthy,
prosy,
didactic
reply,
consistent
with
the
submission
and
simplicity
of
youth;
egotism,
and
egotism
once
removed,
that
is,
the
bringing
into
the
topic
one's
own
family
and
relations,
are
also
antidotes
to
the
true
spirit
of
conversation.
In
general,
it
is
wiser,
more
in
good
taste,
safer,
more
becoming,
certainly
more
in
accordance
with
good
breeding,
to
avoid
talking
of
persons.
There
are
many
snares
in
such
topics;
not
merely
the
danger
of
calumniating,
but
that
of
engendering
a
slippery
conscience
in
matters
of
fact.
A
young
girl,
shy
and
inexpert,
states
a
circumstance;
she
feels
her
deficiency
as
a
narrator,
for
the
power
of
telling
a
story,
is
a
power
to
be
acquired
only
by
practice.
She
is
sometimes
tempted
to
heighten
a
little
the
incidents,
in
order
to
get
on
a
little
better,
and
to
make
more
impression.
She
must
of
course
defend
her
positions,
and
then
she
perils
the
sanctity
of
truth.
Besides,
few
things
narrow
the
intellect
more
than
dwelling
on
the
peculiarities,
natural
or
incidental,
of
that
small
coterie
of
persons
who
constitute
our
world.
It
is,
in
general,
a
wise
rule,
and
one
which
will
tend
much
to
insure
your
comfort
through
life,
to
avoid
disclosures
to
others
of
family
affairs.
I
do
not
mean
to
recommend
reserve,
or
art;
to
friends
and
relations,
too
great
frankness
can
hardly
be
practised;
but,
with
acquaintance,
the
less
our
own
circumstances
are
discussed,
the
happier,
and
the
more
dignified
will
our
commerce
with
them
continue.
On
the
same
principle,
let
the
concerns
of
others
be
touched
upon
with
delicacy,
or,
if
possible,
passed
over
in
silence;
more
especially
those
details
which
relate
to
strictly
personal
or
family
affairs.
Public
deeds
are,
of
course,
public
property.
But
personal
affairs
are
private;
and
there
is
a
want
of
true
good
breeding,
a
want
of
consideration
and
deference,
in
speaking
freely
of
them,
even
if
your
friend
is
unconscious
of
the
liberty
taken.
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