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Right Ho, Jeeves
·
P. G. Wodehouse
165
“Touched
and
gratified.”
“Thank
you
very
much,
sir.”
“But
what
caused
this
change
of
heart?”
“I
chanced
to
encounter
Mr.
Fink-Nottle
in
the
garden,
sir,
while
you
were
still
in
bed,
and
we
had
a
brief
conversation.”
“And
you
came
away
feeling
that
he
needed
a
bracer?”
“Very
much
so,
sir.
His
attitude
struck
me
as
defeatist.”
I
nodded.
“I
felt
the
same.
‘Defeatist’
sums
it
up
to
a
nicety.
Did
you
tell
him
his
attitude
struck
you
as
defeatist?”
“Yes,
sir.”
“But
it
didn’t
do
any
good?”
“No,
sir.”
“Very
well,
then,
Jeeves.
We
must
act.
How
much
gin
did
you
put
in
the
jug?”
“A
liberal
tumblerful,
sir.”
“Would
that
be
a
normal
dose
for
an
adult
defeatist,
do
you
think?”
“I
fancy
it
should
prove
adequate,
sir.”
“I
wonder.
We
must
not
spoil
the
ship
for
a
ha’porth
of
tar.
I
think
I’ll
add
just
another
fluid
ounce
or
so.”
“I
would
not
advocate
it,
sir.
In
the
case
of
Lord
Brancaster’s
parrot----”
“You
are
falling
into
your
old
error,
Jeeves,
of
thinking
that
Gussie
is
a
parrot.
Fight
against
this.
I
shall
add
the
oz.”
“Very
good,
sir.”
“And,
by
the
way,
Jeeves,
Mr.
Fink-Nottle
is
in
the
market
for
bright,
clean
stories
to
use
in
his
speech.
Do
you
know
any?”
“I
know
a
story
about
two
Irishmen,
sir.”
“Pat
and
Mike?”
“Yes,
sir.”
“Who
were
walking
along
Broadway?”
“Yes,
sir.”
“Just
what
he
wants.
Any
more?”
“No,
sir.”
“Well,
every
little
helps.
You
had
better
go
and
tell
it
to
him.”
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