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235
The Private Papers of Henry Ryecroft
·
George Gissing
167
In
his
Italienische
Reise,
Goethe
tells
that
at
one
moment
of
his
life
the
desire
for
Italy
became
to
him
a
scarce
endurable
suffering;
at
length
he
could
not
bear
to
hear
or
to
read
of
things
Italian,
even
the
sight
of
a
Latin
book
so
tortured
him
that
he
turned
away
from
it;
and
the
day
arrived
when,
in
spite
of
every
obstacle,
he
yielded
to
the
sickness
of
longing,
and
in
secret
stole
away
southward.
When
first
I
read
that
passage,
it
represented
exactly
the
state
of
my
own
mind;
to
think
of
Italy
was
to
feel
myself
goaded
by
a
longing
which,
at
times,
made
me
literally
ill;
I,
too,
had
put
aside
my
Latin
books,
simply
because
I
could
not
endure
the
torment
of
imagination
they
caused
me.
And
I
had
so
little
hope
(nay,
for
years
no
shadow
of
reasonable
hope)
that
I
should
ever
be
able
to
appease
my
desire.
I
taught
myself
to
read
Italian;
that
was
something.
I
worked
(half-heartedly)
at
a
colloquial
phrase-book.
But
my
sickness
only
grew
towards
despair.
Then
came
into
my
hands
a
sum
of
money
(such
a
poor
little
sum)
for
a
book
I
had
written.
It
was
early
autumn.
I
chanced
to
hear
some
one
speak
of
Naples--and
only
death
would
have
held
me
back.
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