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349
The Journal of a Disappointed Man
·
W. N. P. Barbellion
17
March
14.
Have
been
reading
through
the
Chemistry
Course
in
the
Harmsworth
Self-Educator
and
learning
all
the
latest
facts
and
ideas
about
radium.
I
would
rather
have
a
clear
comprehension
of
the
atom
as
a
solar
system
than
a
private
income
of
£100
a
year.
If
only
I
had
eyes
to
go
on
reading
without
a
stop!
May
1.
Met
an
old
gentleman
in
E----,
a
naturalist
with
a
great
contempt
for
the
Book
of
Genesis.
He
wanted
to
know
how
the
Kangaroo
leapt
from
Australia
to
Palestine
and
how
Noah
fed
the
animals
in
the
Ark.
He
rejects
the
Old
T.
theogony
and
advised
me
to
read
"Darwin
and
J.G.
Wood!"
Silly
old
man!
May
22.
To
Challacombe
and
then
walked
across
Exmoor.
This
is
the
first
time
I
have
been
on
Exmoor.
My
first
experience
of
the
Moors
came
bursting
in
on
me
with
a
flood
of
ideas,
impressions,
and
delights.
I
cannot
write
out
the
history
of
to-day.
It
would
take
too
long
and
my
mind
is
a
palpitating
tangle.
I
have
so
many
things
to
record
that
I
cannot
record
one
of
them.
Perhaps
the
best
thing
to
do
would
be
to
draw
up
an
inventory
of
things
seen
and
heard
and
trust
to
my
memory
to
fill
in
the
details
when
in
the
future
I
revert
to
this
date.
Too
much
joy,
like
too
much
pain,
simply
makes
me
prostrate.
It
wounds
the
organism.
It
is
too
much.
I
shall
try
to
forget
it
all
as
quickly
as
possible
so
as
to
be
able
to
return
to
egg-collecting
and
bird-watching
the
sooner
as
a
calm
and
dispassionate
observer.
Yet
these
dear
old
hills.
How
I
love
them.
I
cannot
leave
them
without
one
friendly
word.
I
wish
I
were
a
shepherd!
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