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Literary Lapses
·
Stephen Leacock
18
Especially
I
like
the
way
they
dress,
their
grey
check
trousers,
their
white
check
waist-coats,
their
heavy
gold
chains,
and
the
signet-rings
that
they
sign
their
cheques
with.
My!
they
look
nice.
Get
six
or
seven
of
them
sitting
together
in
the
club
and
it's
a
treat
to
see
them.
And
if
they
get
the
least
dust
on
them,
men
come
and
brush
it
off.
Yes,
and
are
glad
to.
I'd
like
to
take
some
of
the
dust
off
them
myself.
Even
more
than
what
they
eat
I
like
their
intellectual
grasp.
It
is
wonderful.
Just
watch
them
read.
They
simply
read
all
the
time.
Go
into
the
club
at
any
hour
and
you'll
see
three
or
four
of
them
at
it.
And
the
things
they
can
read!
You'd
think
that
a
man
who'd
been
driving
hard
in
the
office
from
eleven
o'clock
until
three,
with
only
an
hour
and
a
half
for
lunch,
would
be
too
fagged.
Not
a
bit.
These
men
can
sit
down
after
office
hours
and
read
the
Sketch
and
the
Police
Gazette
and
the
Pink
Un,
and
understand
the
jokes
just
as
well
as
I
can.
What
I
love
to
do
is
to
walk
up
and
down
among
them
and
catch
the
little
scraps
of
conversation.
The
other
day
I
heard
one
lean
forward
and
say,
"Well,
I
offered
him
a
million
and
a
half
and
said
I
wouldn't
give
a
cent
more,
he
could
either
take
it
or
leave
it--"
I
just
longed
to
break
in
and
say,
"What!
what!
a
million
and
a
half!
Oh!
say
that
again!
Offer
it
to
me,
to
either
take
it
or
leave
it.
Do
try
me
once:
I
know
I
can:
or
here,
make
it
a
plain
million
and
let's
call
it
done."
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