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349
The Journal of a Disappointed Man
·
W. N. P. Barbellion
184
"No
wonder
you're
so
hard
up
and
'ave
got
to
take
in
lodgers.
What's
yer
name?"
"John
Jones,"
in
a
demure
wheedling
voice.
"Hoo--that's
not
your
name
in
your
own
bloody
country--I
expect
it's
Hullabullinsky."
"Do
you
know
what
my
name
really
is?"
"No."
"It's
Assenheimopoplocatdwizlinsky
Kovorod."
(Loud
laughter.)
"I
shall
call
you
'ass'
for
short."
I
was
laughing
loudly
at
these
two
clowns
and
the
skipper
observing
as
much,
shouted
out
to
me,--
"Parlez-vous
Francois,
M'sieur?"
"Oui,
oui,"
said
I.
"Ah!
lah,
you're
one
of
us--oh!
what
a
game!
what
a
bees'
nest,"
and
all
the
time
he
went
on
selling
caps
and
chucking
them
at
the
purchasers.
Perhaps
one
of
the
most
extraordinary
things
I
saw
was
a
stream
of
young
men
who,
one
after
another,
came
up
to
a
stall,
paid
a
penny
and
swallowed
a
glass
of
"nerve
tonic"--a
green
liquid
syphoned
out
of
a
large
jar--warranted
a
safe
cure
for
"Inward
weakness,
slightest
flurry
or
body
oppressed."
Another
man
was
pulling
teeth
and
selling
tooth
powder.
Some
of
the
little
urchins'
teeth,
after
he
had
cleaned
them
as
a
demonstration,
were
much
whiter
than
their
faces
or
his.
This
was
"the
original
Chas.
Assenheim."
Mrs.
Meyers,
"not
connected
with
any
one
else
of
the
same
name
in
the
Lane"
was
selling
eels
at
2d.,
3d.
and
6d.
and
doing
a
brisk
trade
too.
But
I
should
go
on
for
hours
if
I
were
to
tell
everything
seen
in
this
remarkable
lane
during
an
hour
and
a
half
on
a
Sunday
morning.
Each
stall-holder
sells
only
one
kind
of
article--caps
or
clocks
or
songs,
braces,
shawls,
indecent
literature,
concertinas,
gramophones,
coats,
pants,
reach-me-downs,
epergnes.
The
thoroughfare
was
crowded
with
people
(I
saw
two
Lascars
in
red
fez
caps)
inspecting
the
goods
displayed
and
attentively
observed
by
numerous
policemen.
The
alarm
clocks
were
all
going
off,
each
gramophone
was
working
a
record
(a
different
one!)
and
every
tradesman
shouting
his
wares--a
perfect
pandemonium.
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