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235
The Private Papers of Henry Ryecroft
·
George Gissing
186
IV.
After
two
or
three
days
of
unseasonable
and
depressing
warmth,
with
lowering
but
not
rainy
sky,
I
woke
this
morning
to
find
the
land
covered
with
a
dense
mist.
There
was
no
daybreak,
and,
till
long
after
the
due
hour,
no
light
save
a
pale,
sad
glimmer
at
the
window;
now,
at
mid-day,
I
begin
dimly
to
descry
gaunt
shapes
of
trees,
whilst
a
haunting
drip,
drip
on
the
garden
soil
tells
me
that
the
vapour
has
begun
to
condense,
and
will
pass
in
rain.
But
for
my
fire,
I
should
be
in
indifferent
spirits
on
such
a
day
as
this;
the
flame
sings
and
leaps,
and
its
red
beauty
is
reflected
in
the
window-glass.
I
cannot
give
my
thoughts
to
reading;
if
I
sat
unoccupied,
they
would
brood
with
melancholy
fixedness
on
I
know
not
what.
Better
to
betake
myself
to
the
old
mechanic
exercise
of
the
pen,
which
cheats
my
sense
of
time
wasted.
I
think
of
fogs
in
London,
fogs
of
murky
yellow
or
of
sheer
black,
such
as
have
often
made
all
work
impossible
to
me,
and
held
me,
a
sort
of
dyspeptic
owl,
in
moping
and
blinking
idleness.
On
such
a
day,
I
remember,
I
once
found
myself
at
an
end
both
of
coal
and
of
lamp-oil,
with
no
money
to
purchase
either;
all
I
could
do
was
to
go
to
bed,
meaning
to
lie
there
till
the
sky
once
more
became
visible.
But
a
second
day
found
the
fog
dense
as
ever.
I
rose
in
darkness;
I
stood
at
the
window
of
my
garret,
and
saw
that
the
street
was
illumined
as
at
night,
lamps
and
shop-fronts
perfectly
visible,
with
folk
going
about
their
business.
The
fog,
in
fact,
had
risen,
but
still
hung
above
the
house-
tops,
impermeable
by
any
heavenly
beam.
My
solitude
being
no
longer
endurable,
I
went
out,
and
walked
the
town
for
hours.
When
I
returned,
it
was
with
a
few
coins
which
permitted
me
to
buy
warmth
and
light.
I
had
sold
to
a
second-hand
bookseller
a
volume
which
I
prized,
and
was
so
much
the
poorer
for
the
money
in
my
pocket.
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