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96
The Inventions of the Idiot
·
John Kendrick Bangs
19
"You'd
get
over
that
in
a
very
few
days,"
said
the
Genial
Old
Gentleman
who
occasionally
imbibed.
"I
have
crossed
the
ocean
a
dozen
times,
and
I'm
never
sea-sick
after
the
third
day
out."
"Ah,
but
those
three
days!"
said
the
Idiot.
"They
must
resemble
the
three
days
of
grace
on
a
note
that
you
know
you
couldn't
pay
if
you
had
three
years
of
grace.
I
couldn't
stand
them,
I
am
afraid.
Why,
only
last
summer
I
took
a
drive
off
in
the
country,
and
the
motion
of
the
wagon
going
over
the
thank-ye-marms
in
the
road
made
me
so
sea-sick
before
I'd
gone
a
mile
that
I
wanted
to
lie
down
and
die.
I
think
I
should
have
done
so
if
the
horse
hadn't
run
away
and
forced
me
to
ride
back
home
whether
I
wanted
to
or
not."
"You
ought
to
fight
that,"
said
the
Doctor.
"By-and-by,
if
you
give
way
to
a
weakness
of
that
sort,
the
creases
in
your
morning
newspaper
will
affect
you
similarly
as
you
read
it.
If
you
ever
have
a
birthday,
let
us
know,
and
we'll
help
you
to
overcome
the
tendency
by
buying
you
a
baby-jumper
for
you
to
swing
around
in
every
morning
until
you
get
used
to
the
motion."
"It
would
be
more
to
the
purpose,"
replied
the
Idiot,
"if
you
as
a
physician
would
invent
a
preventive
of
sea-sickness.
I'd
buy
a
bottle
and
go
abroad
at
once
on
my
coin
collection
if
you
would
guarantee
it
to
kill
or
to
cure
instantaneously."
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