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349
The Journal of a Disappointed Man
·
W. N. P. Barbellion
197
It
was
most
exasperating
to
be
in
this
kaleidoscope
of
human
life
without
the
slightest
idea
as
to
who
they
all
were.
One
man
in
particular,
I
noticed--a
first-class
"swell"--whom
I
wanted
to
touch
gently
on
the
arm,
slip
a
half-a-crown
into
his
hand
and
whisper,
"There,
tell
me
all
about
yourself."
Such
"swells"
there
were
that
out
in
the
fairway,
my
little
cockle-shell
boat
was
wellnigh
swamped.
To
be
in
the
wake
of
a
really
magnificent
Duchess
simply
rocks
a
small
boat
in
an
alarming
fashion.
I
leaned
over
my
paddles
and
gazed
up.
They
steamed
past
unheeding,
but
I
kept
my
nerve
all
right
and
pulled
in
and
out
quizzing
and
observing.
It
is
nothing
less
than
scandalous
that
here
I
am
aged
25
with
no
means
of
acquainting
myself
with
contemporary
men
and
women
even
of
my
own
rank
and
station.
The
worst
of
it
is,
too,
that
I
have
no
time
to
lose--in
my
state
of
health.
This
accursed
ill-health
cuts
me
off
from
everything.
I
make
pitiful
attempts
to
see
the
world
around
me
by
an
occasional
visit
(wind,
weather,
and
health
permitting)
to
Petticoat
Lane,
the
Docks,
Rotten
Row,
Leicester
Square,
or
the
Ethical
Church.
To-morrow
I
purpose
going
to
the
Christian
Scientists'.
Meanwhile,
the
others
participate
in
Armageddon.
February
23.
Looking
for
Lice
at
the
Zoo
The
other
day
went
to
the
Zoological
Gardens,
and,
by
permission
of
the
Secretary,
went
round
with
the
keepers
and
searched
the
animals
for
ectoparasites.
Some
time
this
year
I
have
to
make
a
scientific
Report
to
the
Zoological
Society
upon
all
the
Lice
which
from
time
to
time
have
been
collected
on
animals
dying
in
the
gardens
and
sent
me
for
study
and
determination.
Marker
Marker
Fine marker
White-out
Fine white-out
Circle
Paint
Unmarker
Hand
Scalpel
Dice
Sieve
Purify
Undo
Redo
Start over
