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Literary Lapses
·
Stephen Leacock
21
To
live
like
this
requires,
of
course,
resolution.
But
you
can
buy
that
by
the
pint.
Therefore,
my
dear
young
man,
if
you
want
to
get
moved
on
from
your
present
status
in
business,
change
your
life.
When
your
landlady
brings
your
bacon
and
eggs
for
breakfast,
throw
them
out
of
window
to
the
dog
and
tell
her
to
bring
you
some
chilled
asparagus
and
a
pint
of
Moselle.
Then
telephone
to
your
employer
that
you'll
be
down
about
eleven
o'clock.
You
will
get
moved
on.
Yes,
very
quickly.
Just
how
the
millionaires
make
the
money
is
a
difficult
question.
But
one
way
is
this.
Strike
the
town
with
five
cents
in
your
pocket.
They
nearly
all
do
this;
they've
told
me
again
and
again
(men
with
millions
and
millions)
that
the
first
time
they
struck
town
they
had
only
five
cents.
That
seems
to
have
given
them
their
start.
Of
course,
it's
not
easy
to
do.
I've
tried
it
several
times.
I
nearly
did
it
once.
I
borrowed
five
cents,
carried
it
away
out
of
town,
and
then
turned
and
came
back
at
the
town
with
an
awful
rush.
If
I
hadn't
struck
a
beer
saloon
in
the
suburbs
and
spent
the
five
cents
I
might
have
been
rich
to-day.
Another
good
plan
is
to
start
something.
Something
on
a
huge
scale:
something
nobody
ever
thought
of.
For
instance,
one
man
I
know
told
me
that
once
he
was
down
in
Mexico
without
a
cent
(he'd
lost
his
five
in
striking
Central
America)
and
he
noticed
that
they
had
no
power
plants.
So
he
started
some
and
made
a
mint
of
money.
Another
man
that
I
know
was
once
stranded
in
New
York,
absolutely
without
a
nickel.
Well,
it
occurred
to
him
that
what
was
needed
were
buildings
ten
stories
higher
than
any
that
had
been
put
up.
So
he
built
two
and
sold
them
right
away.
Ever
so
many
millionaires
begin
in
some
such
simple
way
as
that.
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