Lab
Library
Journal
Shop
Sign in
to keep
1
96
The Inventions of the Idiot
·
John Kendrick Bangs
21
"That's
true,"
said
the
School-master.
"But
we
know
more
than
our
grandfathers
did."
"Well,
rather,"
interrupted
the
Idiot.
"My
great-grandfather,
who
died
in
1799,
had
never
even
heard
of
Andrew
Jackson,
and
if
you
had
asked
him
what
he
thought
of
Darwin,
he'd
have
thought
you
were
guying
him."
"Respect
for
age,
sir,"
retorted
Mr.
Pedagog,
"restrains
me
from
characterizing
your
great-grandfather,
if,
as
you
intimate,
he
knew
less
than
you
do.
However,
apart
from
the
comparative
lack
of
knowledge
in
the
Idiot's
family,
Mr.
Whitechoker,
you
must
remember
that
with
the
advance
of
the
centuries
we
have
ourselves
developed
a
certain
amount
of
brains--enough,
at
least,
to
understand
that
there
is
a
limit
even
to
the
possibilities
of
electricity.
Now,
when
you
say
that
just
because
an
Atlantic
cable
would
have
been
regarded
as
an
object
of
derision
in
the
eighteenth
century,
we
should
not
deride
one
who
suggests
the
possibility
of
a
marine
trolley-road
between
London
and
New
York
in
the
twentieth
century,
it
appears
to
me
that
you
are
talking--er--talking--I
don't
like
to
say
nonsense
to
one
of
your
cloth,
but--"
"Through
his
hat
is
the
idiom
you
are
trying
to
recall,
I
think,
Mr.
Pedagog,"
said
the
Idiot.
"Mr.
Whitechoker
is
talking
through
his
hat
is
what
you
mean
to
say?"
"I
beg
your
pardon,
Mr.
Idiot,"
said
the
School-master;
"but
when
I
find
that
I
need
your
assistance
in
framing
my
conversation,
I
shall--er--I
shall
give
up
talking.
I
mean
to
say
that
I
do
not
think
Mr.
Whitechoker
can
justify
his
conclusions,
and
talks
without
having
given
the
subject
concerning
which
he
has
spoken
due
reflection.
The
cable
runs
along
the
solid
foundation
of
the
bed
of
the
sea.
It
is
a
simple
matter,
comparatively,
but
a
trolley-wire
stretched
across
the
ocean
by
the
simplest
rules
of
gravitation
could
not
be
made
to
stay
up."
Marker
Marker
Fine marker
White-out
Fine white-out
Circle
Paint
Unmarker
Hand
Scalpel
Dice
Sieve
Purify
Undo
Redo
Start over
