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349
The Journal of a Disappointed Man
·
W. N. P. Barbellion
21
Near
the
Lighthouse
watched
some
fishermen
bring
in
a
large
Salmon
in
a
seine
net
worked
from
the
shore.
It
was
most
exciting.
Cycled
down
three
miles
of
hard
sand
with
the
wind
behind
me
to
the
village
where
I
had
tea
and--as
if
nothing
could
stay
to-day's
good
luck--met
Margaret
----.
I
showed
her
one
by
one
all
my
treasures--Rail,
Duck,
Skull,
Sea
Mice,
etc.,
and
felt
like
Thomas
Edward,
beloved
of
Samuel
Smiles.
To
her
I
must
have
appeared
a
very
ridiculous
person.
"How
do
you
know
it's
the
skull
of
a
dog-fish?"
she
asked,
incredulous.
"How
do
I
know
anything?"
I
said,
a
little
piqued.
On
arriving
home
found
T----
awaiting
me
with
the
news
that
he
had
discovered
a
Woodpecker's
nest.
When
will
the
luck
cease?
I
have
never
had
such
a
flawless
ten
hours
in
le
grand
air.
These
summer
days
eat
into
my
being.
The
sea
has
been
roaring
into
my
ears
and
the
sun
blazing
down
so
that
even
the
backs
of
my
hands
are
sunburnt.
And
then:
those
coal-black
eyes.
Ah!
me,
she
is
pretty.
May
2.
Dissected
the
Sheldrake.
Very
entertained
to
discover
the
extraordinary
asymmetry
of
the
syrinx....
May
3.
Dissected
Corncrake,
examining
carefully
the
pessulus,
bronchidesmus
(incomplete),
tympani-form
and
semi-lunar
membranes
of
a
very
interesting
syrinx....
May
6.
Dissected
one
of
the
Sea
Mice.
It
has
a
remarkable
series
of
hepatic
ducts
running
into
the
alimentary
canal
as
in
Nudibranchs....
May
9.
Spring
in
the
Woods
Among
the
Oak
Saplings
we
seemed
enveloped
in
a
cloud
of
green.
The
tall
green
grasses
threw
up
a
green
light
against
the
young
green
of
the
Oaks,
and
the
sun
managed
to
trickle
through
only
here
and
there.
Bevies
of
swinging
bluebells
grew
in
patches
among
the
grass.
Overhead
in
the
oaks
I
heard
secret
leaf
whispers--those
little
noiseless
noises.
Birds
and
trees
and
flowers
were
secretive
and
mysterious
like
expectant
motherhood.
All
the
live
things
plotted
together,
having
the
same
big
business
in
hand.
Out
in
the
sunlit
meadows,
there
was
a
different
influence
abroad.
Here
everything
was
gay,
lively,
irresponsible.
The
brook
prattled
like
an
inconsequential
schoolgirl.
The
Marsh
Marigolds
in
flamboyant
yellow
sunbonnets
played
ring-a-ring-a-roses.
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