Lab
Library
Journal
Shop
Sign in
to keep
Share image
1
349
The Journal of a Disappointed Man
·
W. N. P. Barbellion
219
"O
just,
subtle
and
eloquent
avenger,
pierce
the
hides
of
these
abominable
old
fogies,
speckle
their
polished
calvaria
with
the
scarlet
blood
drops...."
But
I
hadn't
the
courage.
Shelley
in
a
crowded
omnibus
suddenly
burst
out:
"O
let
us
sit
upon
the
ground
and
tell
sad
stories
of
the
deaths
of
Kings,
etc."
I've
always
wanted
to
do
something
like
that
and
when
I
have
£5
to
spare
I
hope
to
pull
the
communication
cord
of
an
express
train--my
hands
tingle
as
often
as
I
look
at
it.
Dr.
Johnson's
courage
in
tapping
the
lamp-posts
is
really
everyone's
envy
tho'
we
laugh
at
him
for
it
and
say,
green-eyed,
that
he
was
mad.
In
walking
along
the
pavement,
I
sometimes
indulge
myself
in
the
unutterable,
deeply
rooted
satisfaction
of
stepping
on
a
separate
flagstone
where
this
is
possible
with
every
stride.
And
if
this
is
impossible
or
not
easy,
there
arises
in
me
a
vague
mental
uneasiness,
some
subconscious
suspicion
that
the
world
is
not
properly
geometrical
and
that
the
whole
universe
perhaps
is
working
out
of
truth.
I
am
also
rather
proud
of
my
courageous
self-surrender
to
the
daemon
of
laughter,
especially
in
those
early
days
when
H.
and
I
used
to
sit
opposite
one
another
and
howl
like
hyenas.
After
the
most
cacophonous
cachinnations
as
soon
as
we
had
recovered
ourselves
he
or
I
would
regularly
remark
in
serious
and
confidential
tones,
"I
say--we
really
are
going
mad."
But
what
a
delightful
luxury
to
be
thus
mad
amid
the
great,
spacious,
architectural
solemnity
with
gargoyles
and
effigies
of
a
scientific
meeting!
Some
people
never
do
more
than
chuckle
or
smile--and
they
are
often
very
humorous
happy
people,
ignorant
nevertheless
of
the
joy
of
riding
themselves
on
the
snaffle
and
losing
all
control.
Marker
Marker
Fine marker
White-out
Fine white-out
Circle
Paint
Unmarker
Hand
Scalpel
Dice
Sieve
Purify
Undo
Redo
Start over
