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The Ladies' Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness
·
Florence Hartley
219
"But,
it
may
be
naturally
contended,
that
there
come
not
to
all
young
ladies
the
opportunities
of
which
I
write;
that
indications
of
preference
arrive
not
to
all.
I
am
inclined
to
believe
that,
with
good
temper,
pleasing
manners,
and
respectable
connections,
there
exists,
in
modern
society,
very
few
young
ladies
who
have
not
received
under
various
circumstances,
some
marks
of
preference,
more
or
less
decided.
Beauty
and
plainness
are
arbitrary,
not
positive,
terms.
Unless
there
be
any
actual
deformity,
any
great
infirmity,
in
which
case
I
think
it
were
cruel
to
pre-suppose
the
likelihood
of
such
indications,
there
is
no
one,
that
I
hardly
ever
met
with,
who
has
not
had,
on
some
grounds,
her
partizans
and
admirers.
The
plain
are
often
particularized
as
elegant;
tastes
vary:
even
a
sour
look
I
have
heard
admired
as
sensible,
cold
manners
eulogized
as
correct.
Opinion,
however
it
may
generally
verge
to
the
correct,
springs
from
so
many
sources,
it
is
so
governed
by
association
of
ideas,
such
trifles
may
guide
it,
that
I
am
never
surprised
at
the
latitude
given
to
personal
encomium
nor
at
the
endless
variety
and
incongruity
of
human
judgment.
It
is
well
that
all
have
a
chance
of
being
approved,
admired,
beloved,
and
it
remains
for
them
to
avail
themselves
of
those
possibilities
which
contribute
so
much
to
happiness.
For
we
are
sympathizing
beings,
and
a
law
of
our
nature
makes
us
look
for
a
return
of
sympathy.
We
are
sent
here
to
form
ties,
and
to
love,
and
to
be
loved,
whether
the
term
applies
to
parental,
or
filial,
or
fraternal
love--or
whether
it
respects
the
less
sure
and
more
fitful
experiences
of
love,
in
its
ordinary
sense.
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