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Zuleika Dobson; Or, An Oxford Love Story
·
Sir Max Beerbohm
219
TO
AN
UNDERGRADUATE
NEEDING
ROOMS
IN
OXFORD
(A
Sonnet
in
Oxfordshire
Dialect)
Zeek
w’ere
thee
will
in
t’Univursity,
Lad,
thee’ll
not
vind
nor
bread
nor
bed
that
matches
Them
as
thee’ll
vind,
roight
zure,
at
Mrs.
Batch’s...
I
do
not
quote
the
poem
in
extenso,
because,
frankly,
I
think
it
was
one
of
his
least
happily-inspired
works.
His
was
not
a
Muse
that
could
with
a
good
grace
doff
the
grand
manner.
Also,
his
command
of
the
Oxfordshire
dialect
seems
to
me
based
less
on
study
than
on
conjecture.
In
fact,
I
do
not
place
the
poem
higher
than
among
the
curiosities
of
literature.
It
has
extrinsic
value,
however,
as
illustrating
the
Duke’s
thoughtfulness
for
others
in
the
last
hours
of
his
life.
And
to
Mrs.
Batch
the
MS.,
framed
and
glazed
in
her
hall,
is
an
asset
beyond
price
(witness
her
recent
refusal
of
Mr.
Pierpont
Morgan’s
sensational
bid
for
it).
This
MS.
she
received
together
with
the
Duke’s
cheque.
The
presentation
was
made
some
twenty
minutes
after
she
had
laid
her
accounts
before
him.
Lavish
in
giving
large
sums
of
his
own
accord,
he
was
apt
to
be
circumspect
in
the
matter
of
small
payments.
Such
is
ever
the
way
of
opulent
men.
Nor
do
I
see
that
we
have
a
right
to
sneer
at
them
for
it.
We
cannot
deny
that
their
existence
is
a
temptation
to
us.
It
is
in
our
fallen
nature
to
want
to
get
something
out
of
them;
and,
as
we
think
in
small
sums
(heaven
knows),
it
is
of
small
sums
that
they
are
careful.
Absurd
to
suppose
they
really
care
about
halfpence.
It
must,
therefore,
be
about
us
that
they
care;
and
we
ought
to
be
grateful
to
them
for
the
pains
they
are
at
to
keep
us
guiltless.
I
do
not
suggest
that
Mrs.
Batch
had
at
any
point
overcharged
the
Duke;
but
how
was
he
to
know
that
she
had
not
done
so,
except
by
checking
the
items,
as
was
his
wont?
The
reductions
that
he
made,
here
and
there,
did
not
in
all
amount
to
three-and-sixpence.
I
do
not
say
they
were
just.
But
I
do
say
that
his
motive
for
making
them,
and
his
satisfaction
at
having
made
them,
were
rather
beautiful
than
otherwise.
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