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96
The Inventions of the Idiot
·
John Kendrick Bangs
22
"No
doubt
you
are
correct,"
said
Mr.
Whitechoker,
meekly.
"I
did
not
mean
that
I
expected
ever
to
see
a
trolley-road
across
the
sea,
but
I
did
mean
to
say
that
man
has
made
such
wonderful
advances
in
the
past
hundred
years
that
we
cannot
really
state
the
limit
of
his
possibilities.
It
is
manifest
that
no
one
to-day
can
devise
a
plan
by
means
of
which
such
a
wire
could
be
carried,
but--"
"I
fear
you
gentlemen
would
starve
as
inventors,"
said
the
Idiot.
"What's
the
matter
with
balloons?"
"Balloons
for
what?"
retorted
Mr.
Pedagog.
"For
holding
up
the
trolley-wires,"
replied
the
Idiot.
"It
is
perfectly
feasible.
Fasten
the
ends
of
your
wire
in
London
and
New
York,
and
from
coast
to
coast
station
two
lines
of
sufficient
strength
to
keep
the
wire
raised
as
far
above
the
level
of
the
sea
as
you
require.
That's
simple
enough."
"And
what,
pray,
in
this
frenzy
of
the
elements,
this
raging
storm
of
which
you
have
spoken,"
said
Mr.
Pedagog,
impatiently--"what
would
then
keep
your
balloons
from
blowing
away?"
"The
trolley-wire,
of
course,"
said
the
Idiot.
Mr.
Pedagog
lapsed
into
a
hopelessly
wrathful
silence
for
a
moment,
and
then
he
said:
"Well,
I
sincerely
hope
your
plan
is
adopted,
and
that
the
promoters
will
make
you
superintendent,
with
an
office
in
the
mid-ocean
balloon."
"Thanks
for
your
good
wishes,
Mr.
Pedagog,"
the
Idiot
answered.
"If
they
are
realized
I
shall
remember
them,
and
show
my
gratitude
to
you
by
using
my
influence
to
have
you
put
in
charge
of
the
gas
service.
Meantime,
however,
it
seems
to
me
that
our
ocean
steamships
could
be
developed
along
logical
lines
so
that
the
trip
from
New
York
to
Liverpool
could
be
made
in
a
very
much
shorter
period
of
time
than
is
now
required."
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