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The Ladies' Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness
·
Florence Hartley
223
"Should
they
not
be
acceptable,
she
is
inexcusable
to
requite
them
with
levity
and
disdain.
Let
her
reflect
how
she
would
like
such
conduct
herself.
Besides,
she
is
often
making
a
bitter
enemy;
perhaps
she
is
exciting
fierce
and
unamiable
sentiments
in
one
who
otherwise
might
have
been
regarded
as
a
mild
and
worthy
individual.
Let
her
be
undeceived
if
she
supposes
that
in
thus
doing
she
is
carrying
herself
with
dignity,
or
acquiring
any
added
admiration
from
others.
She
ceases,
in
thus
acting,
to
support
the
characteristics
of
a
gentlewoman,
which
are
mildness,
courtesy,
and
reserve.
If
she
cherishes,
in
spite
of
her
pretended
disgust,
a
secret
partiality
for
the
individual
who
distinguishes
her,
if
she
is
lowering
the
esteem
of
a
man
whom
she
prefers,
she
not
only
incurs
the
hazard
of
losing
his
regard,
but
she
is
scattering
ridicule
on
one
whom
she
afterwards
avows
as
her
choice.
In
that
case,
she
is
lowering
herself,
or
she
is
sowing
the
seeds
of
distrust
in
the
minds
of
those
who
know
her--she
is,
perhaps,
frustrating
and
delaying
her
own
happiness.
Let
her
act
with
candor,
with
consideration,
with
good
sense,
and
all
this
web
which
her
folly
would
weave
around
her
will
not
embarrass
her.
Let
her
not
madly
and
obstinately
resist
the
advice
of
those
on
whose
affection
to
her,
and
on
whose
good
judgment,
experience
has
taught
her
to
rely.
Let
her
be
a
child
in
nothing
except
humility;
let
her
listen
to
counsels;
yet
her
own
heart
must
decide
for
her--none
can
know
so
well
as
herself
its
secret
throbs,
or
the
impression
of
dislike
or
of
regard
which
has
been
made
upon
it.
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