Lab
Library
Journal
Shop
Sign in
to keep
Share image
1
349
The Journal of a Disappointed Man
·
W. N. P. Barbellion
224
When
the
sun
grew
too
hot
we
went
into
the
wood
where
waves
of
Bluebells
dashed
up
around
the
foot
of
the
Oak
in
front
of
us....
I
never
knew
before,
the
delight
of
offering
oneself
up--an
oblation
of
one's
whole
being;
I
even
longed
for
some
self-sacrifice,
to
have
to
give
up
something
for
her
sake.
It
intoxicated
me
to
think
I
was
making
another
happy....
After
a
lunch
of
scrambled
eggs
and
rhubarb
and
cream
went
up
into
the
Beech
Wood
again
and
sat
on
a
rug
at
the
foot
of
a
tree.
The
sun
filtered
in
thro'
the
greenery
casting
a
"dim,
religious
light."
"It's
like
a
cathedral,"
I
chattered
away,
"stained
glass
windows,
pillars,
aisles--all
complete."
"It
would
be
nice
to
be
married
in
a
Cathedral
like
this,"
she
said.
"At
C----
Hall
Cathedral,
by
the
Rev.
Canon
Beech...."
"Sir
Henry
Wood
was
the
organist."
"Yes,"
she
said,
"and
the
Rev.
Blackbird
the
precentor."
We
laughed
over
our
silliness!
Shrew-mice
pattered
over
the
dead
leaves
and
one
came
boldly
into
view
under
a
bramble
bush--she
had
never
seen
one
before.
Overhead,
a
ribald
fellow
of
a
Blackbird
whistled
a
jaunty
tune.
E----
laughed.
"I
am
sure
that
Blackbird
is
laughing
at
us,"
she
said.
"It
makes
me
feel
quite
hot."
This
evening
we
sat
on
the
slope
of
a
big
field
where
by
lowering
our
eyes
we
could
see
the
sun
setting
behind
the
grass
blades--a
very
pretty
sight
which
I
do
not
remember
ever
to
have
noted
before.
A
large
blue
Carabus
beetle
was
stumbling
about,
Culvers
cooed
in
the
woods
near
by.
It
was
delightful
to
be
up
600
feet
on
a
grassy
field
under
the
shadow
of
a
large
wood
at
sunset
with
my
darling.
Marker
Marker
Fine marker
White-out
Fine white-out
Circle
Paint
Unmarker
Hand
Scalpel
Dice
Sieve
Purify
Undo
Redo
Start over
