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349
The Journal of a Disappointed Man
·
W. N. P. Barbellion
226
June
2.
Each
day
I
drop
a
specially
selected
Buttercup
in
past
the
little
"Peeler,"
at
the
apex
of
the
"V"
to
lie
among
the
blue
ribbons
of
her
camisoles--those
dainty
white
leaves
that
wrap
around
her
bosom
like
the
petals
around
the
heart
of
a
Rose.
Then
at
night
when
she
undresses,
it
falls
out
and
she
preserves
it.
In
the
woods,
hearing
an
extra
loud
patter
on
the
leaves,
we
turned
our
heads
and
saw
a
Frog
hopping
our
way.
I
caught
him
and
gave
an
elementary
lesson
in
Anatomy.
I
described
to
her
the
brain,
the
pineal
organ
in
Anguis,
Sphenodon's
pineal
eye,
etc.
Then
we
fell
to
kissing
again....
Every
now
and
then
she
raises
her
head
and
listens
(like
a
Thrush
on
the
lawn)
thinking
she
hears
someone
approach.
We
neither
of
us
speak
much
...
and
at
the
end
of
the
day,
the
nerve
endings
on
my
lips
are
tingling.
Farmer
Whaley
is
a
funny
old
man
with
a
soft
pious
voice.
When
he
feeds
the
Fowls,
he
sucks
in
a
gentle,
caressing
noise
between
his
lips
for
all
the
world
as
if
he
fed
them
because
he
loved
them,
and
not
because
he
wants
to
fatten
them
up
for
killing.
His
daughter
Lucy,
aged
22,
loves
all
the
animals
of
the
farm
and
they
all
love
her;
the
Cows
stand
monumentally
still
while
she
strokes
them
down
the
blaze
or
affectionately
waggles
their
dewlaps.
This
morning,
she
walked
up
to
a
little
Calf
in
the
farm-yard
scarce
a
fortnight
old
which
started
to
"back"
in
a
funny
way,
spraddling
out
its
legs
and
lowering
its
head.
Miss
Lucy
laughed
merrily
and
cried
"Ah!
you
funny
little
thing,"
and
went
off
on
her
way
to
feed
the
Fowls
who
all
raced
to
the
gate
as
soon
as
they
heard
her
footsteps.
She
brought
in
two
double-yolked
Ducks'
eggs
for
us
to
see
and
marvel
at.
In
the
breakfast
room
stands
a
stuffed
Collie
dog
in
a
glass
case.
I'd
as
soon
embalm
my
grandmother
and
keep
her
on
the
sideboard.
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