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96
The Inventions of the Idiot
·
John Kendrick Bangs
23
"We
are
getting
back
to
the
common-sense
again,"
said
the
Bibliomaniac.
"That
is
a
proposition
to
which
I
agree.
Ten
years
ago
eight
days
was
considered
a
good
trip.
With
the
development
of
the
twin-screw
steamer
the
time
has
been
reduced
to
approximately
six
days."
"Or
a
saving,
really,
of
two
days
because
of
the
extra
screw,"
said
the
Idiot.
"Precisely,"
observed
the
Bibliomaniac.
"So
that,
provided
there
are
extra
screws
enough,
there
isn't
any
reason
why
the
trip
should
not
be
made
in
two
or
three
hours."
"Ah--what
was
that?"
said
the
Bibliomaniac.
"I
don't
exactly
follow
you."
"One
extra
screw,
you
say,
has
saved
two
days?"
"Yes."
"Then
two
extra
screws
would
save
four
days,
three
would
save
six
days,
and
five
extra
screws
would
send
the
boat
over
in
approximately
no
time,"
said
the
Idiot.
"So,
if
it
takes
a
man
two
hours
to
succumb
to
sea-sickness,
a
boat
going
over
in
less
than
that
time
would
eliminate
sea-sickness;
more
people
would
go;
boats
could
run
every
hour,
and
Mr.
Whitechoker
could
have
a
European
trip
every
week
without
deserting
his
congregation."
"Inestimable
boon!"
cried
Mr.
Whitechoker,
with
a
laugh.
"Wouldn't
it
be!"
said
the
Idiot.
"Unless
I
change
my
mind,
I
think
I
shall
stay
in
this
country
until
this
style
of
greyhound
is
perfected.
Then,
gentlemen,
I
shall
tear
myself
away
from
you,
and
seek
knowledge
in
foreign
pastures."
"Well,
I
am
sure,"
said
Mr.
Pedagog--"I
am
sure
that
we
all
hope
you
will
change
your
mind."
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