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The Ladies' Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness
·
Florence Hartley
230
"Avoid
young
persons
of
your
own
age.
If
possible,
except
to
a
sister,
whose
deep
interest
in
you
will
probably
teach
her
a
superior
lesson,
never
confide
in
young
friends,
a
similar
trial
as
that
to
which
I
have
referred.
In
general,
your
resolution
will
be
weakened,
your
feelings
re-excited,
your
confidence
in
your
best
advisers
will
be
shaken.
For
the
young
usually
take
the
part
of
the
rejected
lover--they
delight
in
that
dangerous
species
of
sympathy
which
flatters
with
hope.
They
are
naturally
incredulous
as
to
the
delinquencies
of
a
man
who
is
agreeable,
and
in
love;
they
incline
to
the
notion
of
the
hard-heartedness
of
fathers,
uncles,
and
elder
brothers;
and
even,
if
they
happen
to
possess
good
sense,
or
to
exercise
the
rare
quality
of
prudence
in
such
matters,
the
very
communication
of
any
sorrow,
or
the
recital
of
any
feelings,
gives
not
only
a
merely
temporary
relief,
but
deadens
that
sorrow
and
strengthens
those
feelings,
which
grow
every
time
they
are
imparted.
If
you
wish
to
recover--and,
if
you
have
a
sound
and
well-disposed
mind,
you
will
wish
to
recover--you
must,
after
the
first
burst
of
grief
is
over,
speak
but
rarely
of
a
theme
too
painful
and
delicate
to
bear
the
contact
of
rude
minds--too
dangerous
to
dwell
upon
with
those
of
a
kindlier
and
loftier
nature.
"To
your
female
relations--to
your
mother,
more
especially,
too
great
an
openness
cannot
be
practiced
on
these
points,
but
openness
does
not
imply
a
perpetual
recurrence
to
a
theme,
which
must
wear
out
patience
and
exhaust
all
but
maternal
sympathy,
in
time.
For
maternal
sympathy
is
exhaustless;
be
generous,
and
restrain,
from
that
very
reflection,
the
continual
demand
upon
its
flow.
The
first
person
to
consult,
the
last
to
afflict--a
mother--should
not
be
the
victim
of
her
daughter's
feelings.
Her
judgment
should
not
be
weakened
by
the
incessant
indulgence
of
a
daughter's
sorrows.
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