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349
The Journal of a Disappointed Man
·
W. N. P. Barbellion
231
July
2.
I've
had
such
a
successful
evening--you've
no
idea!
The
pen
simply
flew
along,
automatically
easy,
page
after
page
in
perfect
sequence.
My
style
trilled
and
bickered
and
rolled
and
ululated
in
an
infinite
variety;
you
will
find
in
it
all
the
subtlest
modulations,
inflections
and
suavities.
My
afflatus
came
down
from
Heaven
in
a
bar
of
light
like
the
Shekinah--straight
from
God,
very
God
of
very
God.
I
worked
in
a
golden
halo
of
light
and
electric
sparks
came
off
my
pen
nib
as
I
scratched
the
paper.
July
3.
The
Clever
Young
Man
Argued
with
R----
this
morning.
He
is
a
type
specimen
of
the
clever
young
man.
We
both
are.
Our
flowers
of
speech
are
often
forced
hot-house
plants,
paradoxes
and
cynicisms
fly
as
thick
as
driving
rain
and
Shaw
is
our
great
exemplar.
I
could
write
out
an
exhaustive
analysis
of
the
clever
young
man,
and
being
one
myself
can
speak
from
"inspired
sources"
as
the
newspapers
say.
A
common
habit
is
to
underline
and
memorise
short,
sharp,
witty
remarks
he
sees
in
books
and
then
on
future
occasions
dish
them
up
for
his
own
self-glorification.
If
the
author
be
famous
he
begins,
"As
----
says,
etc."
If
unknown
the
quotation
is
quietly
purloined.
He
is
always
very
self-conscious
and
at
the
same
time
very
self-possessed
and
very
conceited.
You
tell
me
with
tonic
candour
that
I
am
insufferably
conceited.
In
return,
I
smile,
making
a
sardonic
avowal
of
my
good
opinion
of
myself,
my
theory
being
that
as
conceit
is,
as
a
rule,
implicit
and,
as
a
rule,
blushingly
denied,
you
will
mistake
my
impudent
confession
for
bluff
and
conclude
there
is
really
something
far
more
substantial
and
honest
beneath
my
apparent
conceit.
If,
on
the
other
hand,
I
am
conceited,
why
I
have
admitted
it--I
agree
with
you--but
tho'
there
is
no
virtue
in
the
confession
being
quite
detached
and
unashamed--still
you
haven't
caught
me
by
the
tail.
It
is
very
difficult
to
circumvent
a
clever
young
man.
He
is
as
agile
as
a
monkey.
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