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349
The Journal of a Disappointed Man
·
W. N. P. Barbellion
234
House
pride
in
newly-wed
folk,
for
example,
H.
and
D.
to-day
at
Golder's
Green
or
the
Teignmouth
folk,
is
very
trying
to
the
bachelor
visitor.
They
will
carry
a
chair
across
the
room
as
tenderly
as
tho'
it
were
a
child
and
until
its
safe
transit
is
assured,
all
conversation
goes
by
the
board.
Or
the
wife
suddenly
makes
a
remark
to
the
husband
sotto
voce,
both
thereupon
start
up
simultaneously
(leaving
the
fate
of
Warsaw
undecided)
while
you,
silenced
by
this
unexpected
manœuvre,
wilt
away
in
your
chair,
the
pregnant
phrase
still-born
on
your
lips.
Presently
they
re-enter
the
room
with
the
kitten
that
was
heard
in
the
scullery
or
with
a
big
stick
used
to
flourish
at
a
little
Tomtit
on
the
rose
tree.
She
apologises
and
both
settle
down
again,
recompose
their
countenances
into
a
listening
aspect
and
with
a
devastating
politeness,
pick
up
the
poor,
little,
frayed-out
thread
of
the
conversation
where
it
left
off
with:
"Europe?
you
were
saying...."
I
mobilise
my
scattered
units
of
ideas
but
it
is
all
a
little
chilly
for
the
lady
of
the
house
if
she
listens
with
her
face
and
speaks
with
her
lips--her
heart
is
far
from
me:
she
fixes
a
glassy
eye
on
the
tip
of
my
cigarette,
waiting
to
see
if
the
ash
will
fall
on
her
carpet.
August
6.
The
most
intimate
and
extensive
journal
can
only
give
each
day
a
relatively
small
sifting
of
the
almost
infinite
number
of
things
that
flow
thro'
the
consciousness.
However
vigilant
and
artful
a
diarist
may
be,
plenty
of
things
escape
him
and
in
any
event
re-collection
is
not
re-creation....
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