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349
The Journal of a Disappointed Man
·
W. N. P. Barbellion
247
The
beauty
of
it
is
that
the
Editor
adds
a
serious
footnote,
dissociating
himself,
and
a
Scarabee
to
whom
I
shewed
the
Work,
read
it
with
a
clouded
brow
and
then
said:
"I
think
it
rather
out
of
place
in
a
paper
of
this
sort."
(Tableau.)
October
12.
Down
with
influenza.
October
13.
A
Zeppelin
raid
last
night.
I
am
down
with
a
temperature,
but
our
little
household
remained
quite
calm,
thank
God.
We
heard
guns
going
off,
and
I
had
a
fit
of
trembling
as
I
lay
in
bed.
Many
dead
of
heart
failure
owing
to
the
excitement.
October
14.
Still
in
bed.
No
raid
last
night.
There
were
two
raids
on
Wednesday,
one
at
9.30,
and
another
at
midnight.
The
first
time
the
caretaker
of
the
flats
came
up
very
alarmed
to
say
"Zeppelins
about,"
so
we
put
out
the
lights.
Then
at
midnight
when
everyone
else
was
asleep
I
heard
a
big
voice
shout
up
from
the
street:
"Lights
out
there.
They're
about
again."
Lay
still
in
bed
and
waited.
Distant
gunfire.
October
17.
Bad
heart
attack.
October
18.
Heart
intermits.
Every
three
or
four
minutes.
M----
said
that
I
ought
to
be
getting
used
to
it
by
now!
Phew!!
Very
nervy
and
pusillanimous.
Taking
strychnine
in
strong
doses.
I
hope
dear
E----
does
not
catch
the
'flu.
She
swallows
quinine
with
large
hopes.
October
19.
Staying
at
R----.
Had
a
ghastly
journey
down,
changing
trains
twice
at
Clapham
Junction
and
at
Croydon,
heart
intermitting
all
the
time
in
every
position.
Poor
E----
with
me.
To-day
surprised
to
find
myself
still
alive.
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