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264
Right Ho, Jeeves
·
P. G. Wodehouse
248
“And
your
Uncle
Cyril
thought
it
funny?”
“Yes,
sir.”
“Golly,
what
a
family!
Next
time
you
meet
your
Uncle
Cyril,
Jeeves,
you
can
tell
him
from
me
that
his
sense
of
humour
is
morbid
and
unpleasant.”
“He
is
dead,
sir.”
“Thank
heaven
for
that....
Well,
give
me
the
blasted
machine.”
“Very
good,
sir.”
“Are
the
tyres
inflated?”
“Yes,
sir.”
“The
nuts
firm,
the
brakes
in
order,
the
sprockets
running
true
with
the
differential
gear?”
“Yes,
sir.”
“Right
ho,
Jeeves.”
In
Tuppy’s
statement
that,
when
at
the
University
of
Oxford,
I
had
been
known
to
ride
a
bicycle
in
the
nude
about
the
quadrangle
of
our
mutual
college,
there
had
been,
I
cannot
deny,
a
certain
amount
of
substance.
Correct,
however,
though
his
facts
were,
so
far
as
they
went,
he
had
not
told
all.
What
he
had
omitted
to
mention
was
that
I
had
invariably
been
well
oiled
at
the
time,
and
when
in
that
condition
a
chap
is
capable
of
feats
at
which
in
cooler
moments
his
reason
would
rebel.
Stimulated
by
the
juice,
I
believe,
men
have
even
been
known
to
ride
alligators.
As
I
started
now
to
pedal
out
into
the
great
world,
I
was
icily
sober,
and
the
old
skill,
in
consequence,
had
deserted
me
entirely.
I
found
myself
wobbling
badly,
and
all
the
stories
I
had
ever
heard
of
nasty
bicycle
accidents
came
back
to
me
with
a
rush,
headed
by
Jeeves’s
Uncle
Cyril’s
cheery
little
anecdote
about
Nicholls
and
Jackson.
Pounding
wearily
through
the
darkness,
I
found
myself
at
a
loss
to
fathom
the
mentality
of
men
like
Jeeves’s
Uncle
Cyril.
What
on
earth
he
could
see
funny
in
a
disaster
which
had
apparently
involved
the
complete
extinction
of
a
human
creature--or,
at
any
rate,
of
half
a
human
creature
and
half
another
human
creature--was
more
than
I
could
understand.
To
me,
the
thing
was
one
of
the
most
poignant
tragedies
that
had
ever
been
brought
to
my
attention,
and
I
have
no
doubt
that
I
should
have
continued
to
brood
over
it
for
quite
a
time,
had
my
thoughts
not
been
diverted
by
the
sudden
necessity
of
zigzagging
sharply
in
order
to
avoid
a
pig
in
the
fairway.
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