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349
The Journal of a Disappointed Man
·
W. N. P. Barbellion
252
December
20.
I
wonder
if
she
knows.
I
believe
she
does
but
I
am
afraid
to
broach
the
matter
in
case
she
doesn't.
I
think
she
must
know
something
otherwise
she
would
show
more
alarm
over
my
leg,
and
when
I
went
to
the
Recruiting
Office
she
seemed
to
show
no
fear
whatever
lest
they
took
me.
Several
times
a
day
in
the
middle
of
a
talk,
or
a
meal,
or
a
kiss,
this
problem
flashes
thro'
my
mind.
I
look
at
her
but
find
no
solution.
However--for
the
present--the
matter
is
not
urgent.
[1]
The
English
Dialect
Dictionary
derives
the
word
from
Old
French
chiboule,
and
gives
a
reference
to
Piers
Plowman.
Why
hasn't
such
an
old
and
useful
word
become
a
part
of
the
English
language
like
others
also
brought
over
at
the
time
of
the
Norman
Conquest?
1916
February
1.
Since
I
last
wrote--a
month
ago--I
have
recovered
my
buoyancy
after
a
blow
which
kept
me
under
water
so
long
I
thought
I
should
never
come
up
and
be
happy
again....
I
was
reciting
my
woes
to
R----,
and
gaining
much
relief
thereby,
when
we
espied
another
crony
on
the
other
side
of
the
street,
crossed
over
at
once,
bandied
words
with
him
and
then
walked
on,
picking
up
the
thread
of
my
lugubrious
story
just
where
I
had
left
off--secretly
staggered
at
my
emotional
agility.
I've
got
to
this
now,--I
simply
don't
care.
February
2.
"And
she
draiglet
all
her
petticoatie,
Coming
thro'
the
rye."
These
words
have
a
ridiculous
fascination
for
me;
I
cannot
resist
their
saccharine,
affectionate,
nay
amorous
jingle
and
keep
repeating
them
aloud
all
over
the
house--as
Lamb
once
kept
reciting
"Rose
Aylmer."
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