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264
Right Ho, Jeeves
·
P. G. Wodehouse
261
At
any
other
moment,
a
crack
like
that
would
have
woken
the
fiend
in
Bertram
Wooster.
I
barely
noticed
it.
I
was
intent
on
getting
to
the
bottom
of
this
mystery.
“But
I
say,
Jeeves,
what?”
“Sir?”
“What
does
all
this
mean?”
“You
refer,
sir----”
“Of
course
I
refer.
You
know
what
I’m
talking
about.
What
has
been
happening
here
since
I
left?
The
place
is
positively
stiff
with
happy
endings.”
“Yes,
sir.
I
am
glad
to
say
that
my
efforts
have
been
rewarded.”
“What
do
you
mean,
your
efforts?
You
aren’t
going
to
try
to
make
out
that
that
rotten
fire
bell
scheme
of
yours
had
anything
to
do
with
it?”
“Yes,
sir.”
“Don’t
be
an
ass,
Jeeves.
It
flopped.”
“Not
altogether,
sir.
I
fear,
sir,
that
I
was
not
entirely
frank
with
regard
to
my
suggestion
of
ringing
the
fire
bell.
I
had
not
really
anticipated
that
it
would
in
itself
produce
the
desired
results.
I
had
intended
it
merely
as
a
preliminary
to
what
I
might
describe
as
the
real
business
of
the
evening.”
“You
gibber,
Jeeves.”
“No,
sir.
It
was
essential
that
the
ladies
and
gentlemen
should
be
brought
from
the
house,
in
order
that,
once
out
of
doors,
I
could
ensure
that
they
remained
there
for
the
necessary
period
of
time.”
“How
do
you
mean?”
“My
plan
was
based
on
psychology,
sir.”
“How?”
“It
is
a
recognized
fact,
sir,
that
there
is
nothing
that
so
satisfactorily
unites
individuals
who
have
been
so
unfortunate
as
to
quarrel
amongst
themselves
as
a
strong
mutual
dislike
for
some
definite
person.
In
my
own
family,
if
I
may
give
a
homely
illustration,
it
was
a
generally
accepted
axiom
that
in
times
of
domestic
disagreement
it
was
necessary
only
to
invite
my
Aunt
Annie
for
a
visit
to
heal
all
breaches
between
the
other
members
of
the
household.
In
the
mutual
animosity
excited
by
Aunt
Annie,
those
who
had
become
estranged
were
reconciled
almost
immediately.
Remembering
this,
it
occurred
to
me
that
were
you,
sir,
to
be
established
as
the
person
responsible
for
the
ladies
and
gentlemen
being
forced
to
spend
the
night
in
the
garden,
everybody
would
take
so
strong
a
dislike
to
you
that
in
this
common
sympathy
they
would
sooner
or
later
come
together.”
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