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1
349
The Journal of a Disappointed Man
·
W. N. P. Barbellion
273
September
2.
Just
recently,
I
have
been
going
fairly
strong.
I
get
frequent
colds
and
sometimes
show
unpleasant
nerve
symptoms,
but
I
take
a
course
of
arsenic
and
strychnine
every
month
or
so
in
tabloid
form,
and
this
helps
me
over
bad
patches.
Under
the
beatific
influence
of
more
comfortable
health,
the
rare
flower
of
my
ambition
has
raised
its
head
once
more:
my
brain
has
bubbled
with
projects.
To
wit:
(1)
An
investigation
of
the
Balancers
in
Larval
Urodeles.
(2)
The
Present
Parlous
State
of
Systematic
Zoology
(for
"Science
Progress").
(3)
The
Anatomy
of
the
Psocidæ.
Etc.
The
strength
of
my
ambition
at
any
given
moment
is
the
measure
of
my
state
of
health.
It
must
really
be
an
extraordinarily
tenacious
thing
to
have
hung
on
thro'
all
my
recent
experiences.
Considerately
enough
this
great
Crab
lets
go
of
my
big
toe
when
I
am
sunk
low
in
health,
yet
pinches
devilishly
hard
as
now
when
I
am
well.[3]
A
Bad
Listener
When
I
begin
to
speak,
T----
will
sometimes
interrupt
with
his
loud,
rasping
voice.
I
usually
submit
to
this
from
sheer
lack
of
lung
power
or
I
may
have
a
sore
throat.
But
occasionally
after
the
fifth
or
sixth
interruption
I
lose
my
equanimity
and
refuse
to
give
him
ground.
I
keep
straight
on
with
what
I
intended
to
say,
only
in
a
louder
voice;
he
assumes
a
voice
louder
still,
but
not
to
be
denied,
I
pile
Pelion
on
Ossa
and
finally
overwhelm
him
in
a
thunder
of
sound.
For
example:
Marker
Marker
Fine marker
White-out
Fine white-out
Circle
Paint
Unmarker
Hand
Scalpel
Dice
Sieve
Purify
Undo
Redo
Start over
